Page 109 of Unbreakable
“You would,” Greyson joked. He went to push her with his casted arm like he normally would, then stopped himself.
This was killing me. Tears filled my eyes, and I turned, pretending to stifle a sneeze. I couldn’t let Greyson see me cry. I needed to be strong for him and not scare him.
This was up there with losing our first pregnancy. It was fucking awful.
Greyson was alive, but he was in pain because of me. I put fun ahead of his safety. Me, his dad, who was supposed to guide him and keep him safe.
I couldn’t hold back anymore. A little sob leaked out.
“Daddy, what’s wrong?” Alice asked.
I turned back to the bed, my ruse called out. “Girls, why don’t you and Mommy go to the cafeteria and get a snack?”
“Come on, girls,” Jeannie said quietly, standing to usher them out. When the door closed behind them, I sat in the chair Jeanine had occupied, propping my elbows on the bed.
“Greyson, I’m so sorry. I should have been more grown up when we went tubing.”
Greyson’s brows lowered. “You are a grown-up, Dad.”
I nodded. “I am, but I didn’t act like one. I love getting to be a kid and play around with you, but I got too into playing and forgot to be your dad.”
“I like it when you play,” Grey said. “Mom’s always a grown-up. Sometimes she’s mean.”
That chilled me. The divide between our roles was so clear our kids had internalized it. I needed to rewrite that script. “Mommy can be a kid too, Grey. She’s a lot of fun. She’s been feeling less fun lately, but I know she’s fun. It’s one of the reasons I love her.”
“She doesn’t show it,” he grumbled.
I gave a wry smile. “Part of that’s my fault. I need to do a better job of being an unfun dad sometimes so she can show it.” I patted his hair. “I’m glad she was here with you. She’s a good mom.”
“Me too. She’s been really nice since I got hurt.”
“I told you she was good at doctor stuff.”
Someone knocked on the door and a nurse poked her face in. “Hey, Grey!” she chirped. “I need to come check you over.”
She pushed through the door, wheeling a cart with a blood pressure cuff behind her. “Is this Dad?”
“I am.”
She blushed, then narrowed her eyes. “Does Dad play hockey?”
“I do,” I said. “Greyson does too.”
“I thought you might from the last name,” she said with a smirk, then blushed deeper and changed the subject. “Greyson, you’re going to wow your friends with your new robot arm. Can you show me the arm?”
He giggled and held out his arm. “He started calling it that after the doctor told him he had metal in his arm. He’s a funny one.”
“Thanks for taking care of him,” I said, but choked up on the last part.
She gave me a sympathetic smile. “We’ve been doing pretty good, haven’t we, Grey?” She waited for his nod. “Okay, I’m going to look at your cut.”
Greyson whimpered and retracted his arm. “No, no.”
I put my hand on his leg. “You have to let her see, bud. She’ll be gentle.”
“Why don’t you squeeze Dad’s hand with your not-robot arm?” she offered.
His small, warm hand in mine reminded me just how little he still was. I always saw him as big, bigger every time I came home.Growing like a weed. But at the end of the day, he was still my little boy.
