Page 22 of Unbreakable
So I kept my head up, and I hoped that by seeing me do it, she could keep her head above water too.
When I got the news that we’d have to move, I was terrified of how she’d react. J and I had seen some dark times, and while her mental health had gotten to a good place, it wasn’t alwaysthat way. Reflecting on those dark days was sometimes enough to turn my stomach, the thoughts of what could have happened haunting me. We were so rocky at the beginning, and though her mental health had been stable for several years, I feared this move would drop us right back onto that rocky path.
I knew she was going to hate moving. I was afraid she’d leave me in favor of keeping the life we’d built, even if it didn’t have me in it. She had everything in California. Rachel Beatty was her best friend, attached at the hip to each other. Her parents were just a few hours away. The older kids were in a good school. She was happy holding the captain’s wife role, thriving as the linchpin of that community. We’d finally gotten to a place where everything was good. The kids were good, J was good, and I was happy they were all happy.
And my job pulled the rug out from under us. But it was either go to Ohio or risk getting a worse offer on the open market. I couldn’t stay in L.A. if I still wanted to play hockey. The only alternative was retirement, and I just wasn’t ready for that yet.
So I didn’t retire, and I took Ohio’s offer, now adjusting to the new team. Every team is a family of sorts with varying levels of dysfunction. The chemistry was fundamentally different in Ohio. Blaming losses and “holding each other accountable” were commonplace, but the truth was, the vibes were off. The Princes had made Cup runs all three years I was captain. We gelled. I knew the tricks up everybody’s sleeves. I was usually first or second line, but I could have jumped in anywhere to make it work. I could say the same for most of the guys.
By contrast, Ohio hadn’t made a Cup run or even raced for a wild card spot in almost a decade. It felt like everyone was just looking out for number one, and not trying to back each other up.
But I was putting on a brave face, doing my best to stay optimistic and blend in.
Leroy was right and it was our turn to go in, him, Korowski, and I spilling over the wall. Immediately, I got caught in a battle for the puck at the wall, blocking my teammates out as best I could in this scrimmage.
“Fuck outta my way, Pickles,” Garner teased as he jabbed at the puck between my skates. I laughed as I freed it, cutting it out toward the goal. Korowski had been waiting for just such an opportunity, shot, and netted it.
“Yes, that’s what I’m talkin’ about!” I shouted. From the bench, Dottie gave me a death stare. I can handle a lot of chirping and shit-talking, but when your own teammate seems to have it out for you, it’s more daunting.
Practice wrapped up about ten minutes later, Dottie continuing to flick glances my way. I felt the reaming coming in my bones.
So it was zero surprise to me when I was mostly undressed and the bark of “Pickles” was heard.
I looked up with a bright smile, a part of my “kill him with kindness” plan. “Yeah?”
Dottie cocked his head to the hallway leading to the bathrooms. I followed.
“What’s up, Dot?”
His face arranged into a sneer. “You know this isn’t Los Angeles, right?”
So it was gonna be like that. I rolled my lips and nodded. “Yup, pretty aware of that.”
“I know you were top dog out there, but here you need to fall in line.”
I laughed. “I don’t think Colt has any issue with my performance, and he’s the captain.”
“He’s not the only leader around here,” he said. “You follow me.”
I cocked my head to the side. “How many Cups has that gotten you? Playoff runs? Don’t you think they brought me here for a reason? And Leroy? Why do you think they’d be trying to rebuild our line here?”
“Watch your tone,” he gritted out, his face a red balloon that with one tiny pinprick could pop.
“Don’t blow a vein, my guy.” I winked and clapped him on the shoulder, sliding along the wall to get away from him and heading for the showers.
I was pullinginto our driveway when Ma started her antics during our call. I tried to call home whenever I could to catch up with Ma or Dad. Most of the time, I did it during drives so I could give J and the kids my full attention once I got home. We’d just finished settling the details of Thanksgiving weekend when she changed the subject.
“And how’s your wife?”
Ah, yes. The very kind way that my mother referred to Jeanine. Jeanine, who’d had three of my children and had been married to me for eight years. Jeanine, who was not a fleeting girlfriend but in fact my partner in life. “Jeanine’s okay.”
“Just okay?” Mom probed.
I hesitated, pinching my lips together. It would be my first time admitting there was anything wrong to Ma. “I think we’re both adjusting to Ohio.”
“Why? What’s she doing?”
“She’s fine, Ma. Just hasn’t found her groove yet I think.” I opened the car door and got out my bag, hitting the garage button to close the door.
