Page 30 of Unbreakable
Dylan threw a frustrated hand out. “Babe, we’re not hurting for money. Hire help if you need help!”
“Oh, good, another task for Jeanine to do,” I said, pushing off the wall and strutting toward the kitchen. “I need help, so I have to take the time to research help, vet the people, make sure they’re not going to steal from us or touch our kids?—”
He followed behind me. “Then let my mom come, Jeannie! I am trying to help you here! This is what I can give you.”
I whirled on my heel, speaking directly to his face. “You certainly don’t care to give anything else. All you do is take, Dylan.”
He pressed a hand to the side of his face, massaging his temple. “Let’s take a beat.” He snorted a breath and put his hands on my shoulders, his thumbs rubbing over my blouse. “I know I’ve asked a lot of you, baby. We have to give this move time.”
My lower lip trembled and I sucked in a choppy breath. “It’s hard.”
He nodded, pressing his lips together. “I know, baby. I’m sorry.” He pulled me close, palming my head against his chest. “But you have to stick it out, Jeanine. I know you can.”
My jaw tensed again. “This, Dylan. You always do this.”
“Do what?” he asked, affronted.
I backed out of his embrace. “You dismiss the things I say. ‘Just keep your head up, Jeannie.’ ‘Just wait, you’ll make friends.’ Just just just.”
“Well, it does take time! We’ve only been here a few months! And in that time, you’ve had someone from L.A., but that Halloween party was the first time you met up with her!”
“Oh, so it’s my fault that I’m miserable. Here we go again. Jeanine’s the crazy one.”
“Jeannie, stop,” Dylan said, going stern. He took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck. “I have never once said you’re the crazy one, or that you’re crazy. We’ve been through a lot. Okay? We just have to give this move time. I’m having Mom come help you because it’s what I can do. I wish I could do more to fix it, baby. I do.”
My eyes burned as I stiffened in his grip. There he was again, dismissing me and offering solutions when all I wanted was for him to truly hear and see me.
Of course, I wanted help, but I wanted it from him. He was the person who I decided to take this journey with. The person I said yes to and accepted this life. But I knew doing so much of it on my own was a condition of choosing this life.
It’s so complicated. I loved Dylan and couldn’t see my life with anyone else. But loving Dylan meant being a hockey wife. It meant raising our kids somewhat alone during very challenging years. And when we were in L.A., it was bearable. I had a community. I had more than people gossiping about me at parties.
Would my life be better if I’d chosen a different path? Easier? What if I’d kept dating scummy bartenders and musicians I met while waiting tables? Scummy was fun for a while, but Dylan, and the baby we chose to keep, brought a sense of stability I needed at that point in my life.
Now that stability tasted pretty sour. I was the picture of stability, and all I wanted was to be that wild girl who used to hide among the vines and dream of making it big.
I’d been silent for a while.
“You’re always wanting some alone time, J. Mom could give you that.”
At a price.
Soft kisses met the side of my face. He was trying.
“You wanna . . . meet up in the kitchen?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows.
I sighed and gave him my tired smile. “I think I might need a minute. I’m exhausted.”
I walked into the kitchen and observed everything around me. I say ‘everything’ because there were still piles of dishes and food not put away. What, exactly, had Dylan done to clean up?
Like he read my mind, Dylan walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “I started the dishwasher,” he said, pinching my earlobe between his teeth.
Wow. Get this guy a trophy. He can load a dishwasher.
I stretched my face into a smile and nodded. “Yeah. Thanks for that. Your mom couldn’t help?”
“She was a guest,” Dyl shrugged.
I stepped away from him and got out containers to put food away. “Is she going to be a guest when she comes next week, or is she actually going to help?”
