Page 48 of Unbreakable
She flapped her hands to the side. “Maybe. Maybe being essentially a single parent to three kids is harder than I thought it would be. Maybe living without the friends I’ve spent the better part of a decade cultivating is harder than I anticipated. And you miss your friends too. You just won’t admit it. Because negative feelings are inconvenient. Because I’m not allowed to have a bad feeling about anything. Just gotta pull myself up by the old bootstraps!”
She made a yanking motion from her waist with a sarcastic smile.
“I need to go.”
“Jeannie. Please. I love you.”
“And I love you too. But I can’t do another day of this. I deserve better than being ignored, and then being yelled at to ‘get it together’ when I call you out on your bullshit.”
The panic swelled inside me, my breath shuddering as my wife stood to go. “Jeannie, I know I fucked up, baby. Please give me a chance to make it better.”
She sucked in another breath, setting her shoulders. “Goodbye, Dylan.”
She took her bag from her feet and walked to the garage. She was really leaving.
When the garage door opened, I walked out there. I stood in Jeanine’s headlights until she backed out and closed the door behind her. I sat with the smell of the garage floor and tires and the feeling that I couldn’t stop fucking up.
TWENTY-ONE
JEANINE
NOW | DECEMBER
I snapped
(picture of boarding pass)
Rachel
Are you coming to see me?!
Not exactly
Temecula
Are you alright honey?
TBD
Birds chirping,the dense mountain air. The quilt on my childhood bed.
I was home.
The journey had been neither short nor easy. I threw up in the airplane bathroom, guilt, shame, and rock-bottom sadness surging through me.
I didn’t know how else to show Dylan I was serious. He wouldn’t listen unless I showed him what life was like without me.
And it’s not like I totally left him in the lurch. His mom was arriving the next day to help with the kids. She was just going to be helping more than anyone anticipated.
I didn’t allow myself to think what Carla thought of my sudden departure.
Mom and Dad knew I was coming. All I sent them was my flight information. If I’d been planning a trip for the whole family, they know I’d have called them a bunch of times to coordinate. Surely, they could read between the lines on my solo ticket.
And they had. Dad was waiting at the airport with a little sign with my name on it. They had my room made up with fresh sheets and my favorite copy of The Secret Garden on the nightstand. Knowing they had my back no matter what and would always be looking out for me meant everything.
In my sloppiest pajama pants from high school and my messiest hair, I padded out to the kitchen for some coffee.
“You get some sleep, sweetie?” Dad asked as I came into the kitchen. I stood next to his chair and he hugged me to him. I reached for a coffee mug, then noticed he’d already put my favorite one on the counter.
