Page 64 of Unbreakable
She rolled her eyes like she was long-exhausted. “God, yes. I mean, he was a good kid, but there were times I cursed his father for leaving me to deal with everything.”
I nodded, swallowing a lump in my throat and she studied me. “This is going to sound insensitive. I’m not parenting alone, but sometimes it feels like it. He’s gone so much, and he just doesn’t get what it all takes.”
“I don’t think they ever do,” she said. “But your Dylan’s a good one. Or at least that’s how it looks. Hell, if he’s not, drop his ass and go get yourself a hot young boyfriend and enjoy the hell out of it. Life’s too short for bad sex, dear.”
I chuckled. “Well, that part’s not bad. It’s all the other stuff that adds up.”
“I can’t speak to that,” she said. “I never had someone willing to stick it out for me and Andy. You know, I had one guy I thought might work out, but he treated Andy like he was inconsequential. The minute you have a kid, they come first.”
I found it interesting that my mom had once told me the opposite. Her advice was more,you have to get your marriage right before you can get your kids right. “He’s still good enough to keep, I think,” I said, sipping my wine. “It’s just going to take work.”
“Well, nothing in life worth anything is ever easy.”
Andy and my mom came out of the house, toting another bottle of wine and a plate of truffles. We sat around the fire, catching up for a while. I kept catching Andy watching me, his gaze flicking over me. The more wine we had, the more his eyes lingered, adding a soft smile when our eyes met.
Mom may have had a little something right when she said it’s nice to have someone make you feel pretty.
But what I really wanted to feel was loved. Understood. Seen. And those weren’t things I wanted from Andy.
“I think it’s about time for me to turn in,” Kathy announced after we sat for a good hour.
“I’ll take you home,” Andy said, standing.
“No, no, I’ll take her,” my mom said.
“Aw, thanks, Maureen,” Kathy said. “Andy’s always taking care of my sorry ass.”
Mom winked at me. “Feels like I could give him the night off.”
“Mom, it’s really nothing. I have to be up early tomorrow,” Andy argued.
“Oh, stop. We’ve got things to gossip about anyway,” Mom said, shoving his shoulder to make him sit again. She brought the bottle over and put it on the patio table between me and Andy. “You kids have fun. Don’t get into any trouble. Andy, you don’t have to come in early tomorrow, but walk home if you drink anymore, okay?”
“Yes, Mrs. W,” he said with the insolent tone of a high schooler.
For a while, Andy and I just stared into the fire, not saying anything. The way we’d gotten to be alone like this was innocuous, but I still felt uncomfortable. Andy had made passes at me in the past, even while Dylan and I were married. Hopefully, Andy and Dylan spending time together last summer while we visited my parents was enough to shy him away. Or better yet, with the number of years it had been since we were actually involved, maybe he got over me.
Yes, it felt nice to have someone always think you were the one who created the sun, especially when my life was in shambles. But I shouldn’t have been enjoying that. What would Dylan think if he saw us now? I might have been helping him bury a body instead of shivering against the chilly air. I wrapped my sweater tighter around myself.
“Alice still a spitfire?” he asked. She’d hung on “Uncle Andy” like a spider monkey when we came to the winery last summer.
I shook my head with a laugh. “That child, I swear.”
“She’s got a lot of you in her,” he said, taking a sip of wine.
“Nah, she’s very much her own child. Bella’s more like me,” I said. “You were good with them. You always did like kids.”
I said it, then immediately regretted it. He was probably thirty-three or so, and I had a whole brood of kids. He had none, and seemingly no prospects on the horizon. He’d given so much of his life to his mom, to my parents even. Temecula was his life.
“Yeah,” he said softly. We had another silent stretch of staring into the fire. “What are you really doing out here, Jeanine?”
I did everything with my lips: rolling them between my teeth, chewing them, twisting them to the side. “Figuring that out myself.”
Andy drew a few breaths like he was going to speak, but didn’t. False starts, like he was gearing up to say something.
“You don’t have to stay with him.” His voice was quiet and low. “You can take the kids and still have a happy life. You’re young, Jeanine. If he cheated on you, you don’t have to take it.”
My eyes narrowed and met his as I sat up straighter. “What the hell are you saying?”
