Page 90 of Unbreakable
“Jeanine really did kick your ass,” Colton laughed.
“Guys, don’t make fun of Pickles’ kinks,” Leroy chimed in. “This is a safe space.”
Coach raised his eyebrows at me. “Bruised it doing what?”
My throat felt crackly. “I sat on something and it broke.”
He crossed his arms. “What the hell did you sit on that it broke?”
“Is this important? Can I just go see PT?”
“I think the people want to know,” Lindberg said so earnestly, like his request was innocent.
“You sat on something, it broke, and your big ass didn’t pad your fall?” Leroy asked.
“Don’t talk about Pickles’ skinny pancake ass,” Colton teased. “He’s sensitive about it.”
“I do not have a pancake ass. My ass is huge,” I argued. “It was just an unfortunate circumstance.”
Coach put out his hands. “What broke?”
“I’d rather talk about this in private,” I said.
An objection broke out from the rest of my asshole teammates.
“Fine. It was my dining table.”
A hush went over the room as everyone tried to figure that out.
“Did . . . Jeanine also get injured?” Colton asked.
“No.” I stood, wincing as pain issued from the base of my spine and my teammates erupted into laughter again. “Am I excused?”
Coach rolled his eyes. “Go ahead.”
The physical therapist stood to follow me, and someone was following her. “We’ve got a student today, Dylan. Is that cool?”
I sighed. “What’s one more person seeing my bruised ass?”
I only endedup missing one game from my bruised butt, PT recommending massage and ice. They were professional enough to not even giggle once.
So it was a normal Sunday evening off when Plan #2 went into effect.
The note I left for J that morning read like this:
We’re looking for the magic
Because losing it is tragic
So let’s all watch some movies
And after bedtime for the little booties
Mommy and Daddy will get un-sapphic?
Again, not a poet, but I did use a limerick rhyme scheme. Give me some credit.
Alice and Jeanine had caught Bella’s cold while Bella was starting to get better, and this part of The Plan was conducive to having sick kids. I kept everyone out of the basement while I got everything set up.
