Page 92 of Unbreakable
“I think I am.”
We let them play for a few more minutes before going inside to enjoy our pizza dinner and Jeannie’s favorite,White Christmas. And as Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby tap-danced into their half-nonsensical happily ever after, it was time for the kidsto go to bed. They gave J big hugs and I love yous, then I took them to bed so Jeannie could rest.
THIRTY-SIX
JEANINE
NOW | DECEMBER
(pic from basement with family piled into blankets)
Part of The Plan
Rachel
Awww. Way to go, Dyl
Dylan hada fresh-out-of-the-dryer pair of pajamas ready for me when he came back from putting the kids to bed.
He settled into the spot next to me, snuggling up. “You want to watchThe HolidayorChristmas Vacation?”
“Let’s doThe Holiday,” I said, lifting my shirt over my head to put on the pajama top. “Christmas Vacationis a little too real given our Thanksgiving.”
I swapped my yoga pants for the pajama bottoms and burrowed into the nest of blankets and pillows with a sniffle. My decongestant was at least working so I wasn’t completely miserable, just tired. “You want to dim the lights?”
Dylan took so long to respond that I looked at him over my shoulder. He looked like he was about to get sick. “Dyl? What’s up?”
“Jeannie, I feel like we should talk about Thanksgiving.”
That was not the response I expected. “Now?”
Dylan looked further deflated. “Yeah, now.” I sat up and he took my hand, staring at it in his lap. The longer he lingered, the more my stomach turned.
“Go on, then. Tell me how immature it was of me to not just shut up and take it from your mom. Tell me how everything your mom said was true. Tell me how irresponsible it was for me to leave less than a week later because I couldn’t take it anymore. Tell me how I’m irrational and a tyrant and a bad example for our kids and selfish and how I just need to be medicated so I can suck it up and deal with life—” I paused to draw a breath, and he cut in.
“That’s not what I was going to say, if you’d give me a chance. I want to talk about this and come up with a solution together.”
My chin popped back. “Wow. Okay.”
“My mom is rough on you, and I hate that. But you’ve also been hostile to her since the beginning. I’m not saying she’s right and you’re wrong, but I think we need to give her a chance to get better.”
The words themselves were so rational. Out of context, you’d think Dylan was the picture of maturity. But given the volume of hostile things she’d said to me over the years, including when I got back from California, it didn’t seem fair.
“I see. And are you going to inform her that she’s being given a second chance? Are you going to inform her that you were thinking of cutting her out?”
His tongue traced his upper teeth. “I haven’t quite figured out how to do that yet.”
My jaw quivered as I held my teeth together. I didn’t expect such a surge of adrenaline over this. But then, his mom and thoughts of her set me on edge. Dylan was being very calm and rational, though, and I needed to do the same. “Do me a favor?”
“Yeah?”
“Figure it out. Soon. Because Dylan, this Christmas stuff, it’s great. I don’t want you to think I’m downplaying it, because I know you’re putting in a lot of effort. But it doesn’t fix the big stuff.”
He tugged at his hair. “I can’t fix it overnight, J.”
“You also can’t keep pretending we don’t have problems. Just because we’re not explosively at each other’s throats doesn’t mean nothing’s wrong. And sometimes I just need you to see where we’re struggling.”
“I’m telling you right now that I see it,” he argued. “What else do you want?”
