Page 128 of Ice Wolf
“It’s not that I don’t want to be around you. And trust me, savage man, you make me crazy too. I just need… more in life. I don’t want to ever again be someone’s second. Not to anything including hockey. Maybe that’s unfair.”
“That ex did a number on you, huh?”
Just hearing Damien mentioned brought out the beast in me. I still wanted to claw the man’s eyes out.
“Damien was my first real relationship. He made me believe being together was easy. At first. I think I lost myself in him, in the thought of being in love. In the desire to be married and have kids. He didn’t want the same thing. Well, marriage, but one that suited his quest for greatness.”
“Fucking jerk. What about now? What does the little librarian want?”
“I want balance. I want a family and a career as well. I’d like a nice little house in the suburbs with a white picket fence. Don’t tease me. I’m aware the picture-perfect relationship doesn’t exist any longer. That’s okay. A girl can still dream. You’re living your dreams and I love that for you. You deserve every bit of it, Saint. I think you know whether or not this chemistry is a part of your heritage, that’s not what you want. That doesn’t anger me in the least. Does that sound crazy?”
The awkward tension had returned in full force.
“Nah, it doesn’t.” He glanced out the window. “Not at all.”
“Then we follow through with the deal we made. No harm, no foul,” I told him, another ache forming, only this time in my heart.
“Except you’ve got it all wrong.”
“What does that mean?”
As huge of a man as he was, there was an entire foot between us. I’d tried to remind myself a dozen times that night alone we were merely faking our relationship, but the lines had become so blurred I had no idea what side I was on any longer.
He seemed out of sorts, more so than I’d seen him.
“Just listen to me for a minute, Lily. I’m not picture-perfect anything. The only thing I’m really good at is hockey and that doesn’t make me the best boyfriend material. But here’s the thing. I’m trying to tell you that maybe the proposal was real. Because of what I said, I get why you don’t believe me. I wouldn’t believe me either. Truth is I never wanted to be a romantic. Not once. Ask anyone. But I find myself wanting to create romance with you and for you. Around you. Now, I know what you’re going to say?—”
“What am I going to say?” I interrupted. Why were tingles floating through every inch of my body? And why was it that I was breathless when I was around him? Why couldn’t I think straight around him?
“That it’s hormones since we’re supposed to be mates, but I assure you I know exactly what hormones feel like and this is something else entirely. I can’t seem to get enough of you. You’rein my mind all the time. Hell, it feels like you’re crawling in my blood. I can’t sleep without seeing your face. I can’t eat without thinking about mayonnaise.” He laughed and threw me a look that screamed of angst and lust.
And something else.
True sincerity.
He turned toward me, shaking his head.
“I’m telling you, Lily Weathers, the biggest pain in the ass I’ve ever experienced and the one woman who’s driven me crazy with desire that I’ve fallen in love with you. I know it sounds nuts. I get that there is no chance you’ll ever believe a guy like me. I get all that. But I love you. I love the way the sun shines off your hair, whether you have a braid or not. I adore the freckles skimming across your nose and the way your brows furrow when you’re pissed at me, which happens a lot. And the moment you walk into a room and there isn’t a single man who doesn’t hunger for you, I’m proud and pissed off at the same time. I want to rip them to shreds because you’re my girl. Mine. All mine. Not because you’re my mate. Not because we have a crazy chemistry, but because I love you. If any man ever tries to come in between us, I think I’d go crazy and all… furry… and…”
He took a deep breath after spitting out the words and I was absolutely floored, uncertain what to say.
“And I’ve pissed you off again,” he said much more quietly than before. Shifting away, he closed his eyes.
“No,” I whispered, my heart fluttering. “That was the most beautiful thing any man has ever said to me in my life. I love you too, Saint. For all your crazy smiles and the way you look atme. The insanity that’s your life and the way you can make me laugh.”
“Hmm… Really?”
I glanced to ensure the driver wasn’t paying any attention before climbing into his lap. “How about I show you?”
“Oh, you are one bad girl.”
“You have no idea, but I plan on showing you.”
CHAPTER 32
Lily
Craziness had become a part of my life since meeting Saint. Because of him, I’d pushed all my boundaries in ways I’d never dreamed of doing. He’d been the catalyst for an awakening that I hadn’t known I wanted.
