Page 49 of Convincing Him
Britney’s voice trailed off in surprise as she looked up to see Gabe. She blinked at him. “I thought you were Rex.”
“I’m not Rex,” Gabe carefully came forward, conscious of the overcrowded living room full of boxes and wedding items Britney seemed intent on returning. Leaning down, he cleared a spot so he could sit down and join her.
“Why are you here?” whispered Britney as he sat beside her.
Avoiding the pain in her eyes, Gabe looked at the bear she was clutching. He touched the toy’s ear. “You bought the bear for our baby?”
Britney nodded. “There isn’t going to be a baby. I should probably return him so some other lucky boy can have him.”
“I think you should keep him,” Gabe reached out to touch the ear of the bear.
“He’ll just remind me of what I can’t have,” she shook her head, holding the stuffed animal a little tighter. “You should go.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he quietly told her.
Britney digested his words. “Then you can help clean up all this mess. I need it boxed and labelled so the FedEx guy can pick it up tomorrow and all of it can go back.”
“What if it doesn’t have to go back?” Gabe looked at the mass of items and wondered where all of it had come from.
“It has to go back,” Britney wiped away another tear angrily and drew in a shuddering breath. “We’re not getting married. We’re not having a baby. There is no point in keeping any of it.”
Uncertain of what to say, Gabe reached out to take Britney’s hand, but she moved it away from him. He could feel the chasm between them deepening and wasn’t sure what to do to fix it. Before, Britney had always been the one to try to bridge any gap. Gabe cleared his throat. “Do you remember when we were kids and our teachers used to make us play What If to teach us critical thinking skills?”
“I don’t want to play What If,” said an exhausted Britney.
“What if I want to return the shares you gave to me?” Gabe absently picked up some of the bubble wrap, fiddling with it. “What if I have seen my lawyer and I have already given them back to you?”
Britney looked at him solemnly. “It is your inheritance.”
“What if I had bought the house? The one with the ugly yellow nursery within walking distance of the park you like so much?” Gabe popped a plastic bubble. “The one you wanted to make into our home.”
“You didn’t,” Britney held the bear a little tighter. “You didn’t buy the house. You are not giving me back the shares. Stop it playing ‘What If’. I don’t want to hear it anymore.”
“I did,” Gabe dropped the bubble wrap and pulled the paperwork out of his jacket, holding it out to her. “Your name is on the deed.”
“When did you buy it?” she made no move to take the proffered papers.
“Yesterday,” Gabe informed her. “I put the shares back in your name this morning.”
“Why? Why would you do it?” Britney’s voice broke. “You have everything you want. You got your inheritance, you got to keep your job and you don’t have to marry anyone. You got exactly what you wanted so why would you do it?”
“Because I realized there was something I wanted more,” he admitted. “Someone I wanted more. I want you Brit.”
“No,” Britney closed her eyes. “You don’t. You never have and I have finally accepted it.”
“I was a jerk, okay? A huge, colossal, monumental jerk,” Gabe reached out to cup her face in his hands. “I don’t deserve you. I’m the one who was an idiot all these years, trying to deny what I have felt for you, to deny us. I’m sorry. I want to start putting you first, to put us first. I want be all in on this relationship.”
“Stop,” Britney sobbed in earnest, pushing his hands away. “I can’t do this. Please just stop.”
“We can get married whenever you want, wherever you want,” he rashly promised. “We can have a baby. I’ll be with you every step of the way. No matter how freaked out I get, I’ll stay with you in the delivery room. I’ll be there when you have the operation to remove the cancer. We can adopt more kids if it’s what you want. No divorces, no prenups, no deadlines. We will do whatever you want.”
“I want you to love me,” she whispered. “Can you do that?”
“Brit…” Gabe reached out to her, but she moved away. He swallowed hard over his discomfort. What did he know about love? Was it this need he had to keep Brit in his life? Was it this panic in his chest over the thought he was permanently losing her? Was it all the gooey things Max said it was which Gabe didn’t seem to feel? What really was love? Gabe honestly didn’t know. “I want to love you.”
“You want to love me,” she echoed slowly.
“Yes,” Gabe affirmed quickly. “Please give me another chance.”
