Page 16 of Psycho
Noah bobbed his head. “I mean, that’s good. Congrats on that first hurdle. But it’s a long way between knowing you’re a psychopath and wanting to spend his life with one. He’s a former FBI agent and you’re a murderer. As far as relationship issues go, I’d say this is like the Montagues versus the Capulets on steroids. It’s kind of a big hurdle and you could both end up dead.”
Something twisted inside August. “You don’t think he’d want somebody like me.”
“We didn’t say that,” Noah soothed.
“I’m saying it. No fucking way. Not a chance in hell,” Archer muttered. “Do you have any booze in this place?”
“Noah has his emotional support vodka in the freezer,” Adam said, pointing a thumb in the direction of the kitchen.
Noah’s lip curled, glaring at Archer. “It’s not even nine in the morning.”
“I haven’t been to bed yet, so it doesn’t count,” Archer said, taking the bottle and pouring himself a healthy dose into an orange juice glass.
“I think you have a chance,” Adam said, patting August’s hand stiffly.
“That!” Noah said. “That right there. You guys have got to work on looking more like people and less like…cyborgs pretending to be people. Adam needs to work on his fake empathy face and you have to learn to smile without looking like a fucking supervillain.”
August blinked at him. “I smile like a supervillain?”
“You smile at the wrong things, at the wrong time. You’re never happier than when you’re about to kill somebody or when you’re thinking of killing somebody. You have to work on that. Smile less.” August wiped all expression from his face. “Yeah, okay, that’s not going to work either.”
August flopped back in his chair. “This would be a lot easier if I could just club him over the head and drag him back to my cave.”
“You know what,” Noah said, “fuck everything I just said. If Lucas is going to like you, he’s going to have to take you as you are. Just show him who you are without a knife in your hand. Show him the things you like outside of murder.”
What did August like better than murder? Music. Silent movies. That wasn’t really enough to build a relationship on.
Archer gave August a wolfish grin. “In other words, you’re doomed.”
Noah threw a fork at him. “Shut up. You’ve never had a relationship with anything that didn’t have an alcohol percentage on the label.”
“Touché,” Archer said, raising his glass in a mock salute.
How did he show Lucas what he liked outside of murder? What did he like? Would Lucas still want him when he realized August was put together all wrong? In every way. “What about sex?”
Archer spit his drink onto the table with a laugh, shaking his now wet hand.
Noah glared at the man before giving August a patient look. “What about it?”
“How do I get him to like the things I like…sexually?”
“I’m shocked you’ve even had sex,” Adam said, sounding genuinely surprised and a little relieved.
August frowned. “Why’s that?”
“You’re creepy, bro. What person is going to have sex with you without wondering if you’re going to turn them into a lamp shade when it’s over?” Noah slapped Adam’s arm hard enough to make him flinch. “What? He asked.”
August shrugged. “I usually use sex workers. It makes things less complicated. They don’t ask questions and they’re discreet.”
Noah began to squirm but looked determined. “Okay, so you’re not a virgin. Win. Why wouldn’t Lucas like what you like sexually? Are you into some weird fetishes? Necrophilia or, like, licking feet?”
“A foot fetish comes after necrophilia for you?” Adam asked, chuckling.
Noah glared at Adam. “Shut up.” He looked back to August. “Seriously, what is it you worry he won’t be into?”
“I like…” He struggled to put a name to it that didn’t make him sound even creepier than they already found him. “A power exchange.”
“BDSM?” Noah asked, shoulders sinking in relief. “Oh, thank God, it’s something normal. Like, I can’t guarantee he wants to be spanked or tied up or whatever, but you could always just have the conversation whenever you get there.”
