Page 94 of Moonstruck
Lucas sighed. “Okay, if that’s what Zane wants, I’m fine with it.”
“Fuck, yes,” Avi cheered. “Please, Zane? Zaney? Zaniac? If you want him to die slowly and painfully, let’s keelhaul him. You get what you want and I get to scratch another thing off my bucket list.”
Zane watched as a little bit of Freddie’s false bravado slipped. “Yeah. Do it.”
Avi whooped, lifting Zane up and spinning him in a circle. “Yes. You fucking rock. Tell me where I can find the rope and anchor on this bitch.”
When Zane was on his feet again, he dropped onto the padded seat that ran along the back of the boat. He didn’t participate in the prep, didn’t care about anything, really. Suddenly, he was just…tired. He wanted this to all be over so he could go home with Asa and sleep in their bed.
Freddie did die. Zane didn’t know if he was screaming when the blades took him, but he felt some satisfaction in watching the ocean water run red beneath the glow of the boat lights when he finally met his demise. Once they made certain he was dead, the others brought out booze and clanked bottles together to celebrate a successful mission.
Zane just sat out on the deck, watching the dark waters and the lights on the shore getting closer and closer.
“You okay, Lois?” Asa asked, sitting beside him.
Zane turned, resting his back against Asa’s chest, some of the ache disappearing as Asa wrapped his arms around him. “I’m okay.”
“The worst is over. Now, you get to do what you do best. Write. You get to tell the world the story. Your way. You get to decide how they remember Freddie Deetz.”
Zane could feel tears leaking down his cheeks, but he didn’t care. “I thought I’d feel better when everybody was dead…or at least taken care of. But Gage is still gone. And now, he doesn’t even talk to me anymore.”
“Maybe you gave him the peace he needed to move on?” Asa suggested.
“Or maybe he was never there in the first place and my mental illness is resolving,” Zane muttered.
“You don’t know that. My brother and I can communicate without words. Lucas can see the past just by touching an object. Who’s to say what’s real or not. Your brother would be super fucking proud of you.”
“But now, I’m just…alone. My mother’s a nightmare, my father is dissociating, and now, Gage is gone. My whole family is obliterated.”
“I know it’s not the same thing, but you have a ton of family, better family. Family who might not all be able to love you but who will fucking die to protect you. Who will go to bat for you. Who will do everything in the world to make sure you succeed.”
“I know.”
“I got you, Lois. No matter what. We all do.”
Zane nodded, burrowing deeper into Asa’s arms. “I know. Tell me you love me. Even if you don’t mean it. I just need to hear it.”
Asa’s hands threaded through Zane’s curls, and then he was gently turning his head so he could look him in the eye. “I do love you, Lois. In whatever ways I can. I do. Believe that.”
“I do,” Zane said.
“Good. Are you willing to say those words again in about six months in front of hundreds of people we barely know?”
Zane blinked at him. “What?”
“I’m asking you to marry me, Lois.”
Zane’s pulse skyrocketed. “Oh.”
“Oh?” Asa said, looking flummoxed enough to make Zane laugh.
“Yeah. I mean, yes. Yes. Yes, I will marry you.”
Asa let out a big breath that was swept away by the wind. “Way to give a guy a heart attack.”
Zane smiled, then suddenly couldn’t stop smiling. Maybe Asa was right. Maybe Gage had moved onto a better place. He’d still talk to him, even if he didn’t talk back. The Mulvaneys were loud and crazy and certifiably insane, but they were a real family and that was what Zane had wanted his whole life. A real family and a man who loved him.
Now, he had both.
