Scott takes the reins, offers,
 
 Let’s go out on the patio.
 
 Can I get you something
 
 to drink? Iced tea? Lemonade?
 
 We have some soda, too, I
 
 think. Coke. Root beer…
 
 Dad just can’t not be Dad.
 
 How ’bout real beer? Any
 
 kind will do. We’re not
 
 picky, are we, Linda Sue?
 
 He gives her a kiss unsuitable
 
 for mixed company.
 
 [Not picky? Ha! Major
 
 understatement!] I stuff Bree
 
 back inside as Scott guides Dad
 
 and Linda Sue outside. Mom
 
 goes to hustle up a couple of
 
 beers. Heather follows Leigh
 
 upstairs. Jake and I stand here,
 
 exchanging looks of disbelief.
 
 Then we both break down
 
 into a fit of uncontrollable
 
 laughter. Your dad is really
 
 weird, Jake can finally say.
 
 Another major understatement.
 
 Dad and Pal
 
 Overstay their welcome.
 
 [Huge surprise!]
 
 We have planned a birthday
 
 dinner at our favorite