Page 79 of Bad Boys After Dark - Brett
Ruthie’s big head swung toward him, and he continued petting her. “That’s a girl. I can ride a Harley, but Harleys don’t buck, so you be good to me and I’ll be extra nice to you.” He turned to Poppi and asked, “What do you give a horse to thank them afterward?”
“Huh. You are good,” Poppi said with a warm smile. “We brush them down real good, love ’em up.”
“Great. I can do that.” He continued talking with Ruthie, moving to her side as he pet her thick, strong neck. “What do you call this kind of horse?”
“She’s a chestnut quarter horse with a flaxen mane and tail, but we call her part of the family.” Poppy chuckled. “Some people choose their horses. Ruthie chose us. A friend was having financial problems and had to give up his farm. I went over to check out some equipment, and this little lady wanted all my attention. Once Nana saw that, she decided it was time to celebrate our newest family member.”
“Nana’s something else. Her zest for life is contagious.”
A faraway look came over Poppi, and he cleared his throat. “Losing a child will do that to you.”
“I’m sorry.” Brett’s gut clenched. He continued petting Ruthie as he said, “Sophie mentioned that you had a son you lost when he was young. I don’t know if she told you, but I lost a sister, Lorelei, when she was eight. She would have loved your farm, and I imagine she’d be like Nana, squeezing every last drop of enjoyment out of every day.”
“Sophie didn’t share that with me. I’m sorry for yours and your family’s loss. There’s no greater pain than losing a loved one at any age.” Sadness rose in Poppi’s eyes. “Our Joey was a special boy, as I’m sure your sister was. He was with us for six wonderful years. He had a heart condition that went undetected. He was running with some boys after school and dropped on the field. They tried to revive him, but…” He shook his head.
Brett’s throat thickened. “I’m sorry. We lost Lorelei to leukemia. It happened fast, and it tore us apart.” He hesitated for only a moment before sharing, “Our family didn’t make it through so well. Do you mind me asking how your marriage survived?”
Poppi leaned against the hitching post and pushed his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, gazing thoughtfully up at the house. “I used to wonder that myself. Joey was our firstborn, and as you can imagine, that boy was the light of our lives. When we lost him, Nana cried for four straight days. I was sure we were destined to live under a dark cloud. But one day she woke up and said, ‘Joey was an amazing boy and we need to celebrate him. We need to appreciate all the things he can’t.’ She saved me with her outlook, that’s for damn sure. I wanted to hole up and disappear. And then, like a miracle sent from the heavens, two weeks after we buried our son, Nana found out she was pregnant.”
“Angel?” Brett said softly.
“Angel Josephine. Another reason not to disappear into grief.” He stroked the horse’s neck. “I’m sorry to hear your family didn’t come through it whole.”
“A piece of each of us was lost when she died, but it destroyed my father. Short of dying himself, I don’t think anything could have kept him from falling apart.”
“And you?” Poppi asked.
“I was a mess, too. Got into a lot of trouble between ten and twelve years old. I’m sure I added to my parents’ grief.”
“You were a boy dealing with a loss. Can’t place blame on you for that. Losing a loved one can make you stronger, braver, more able to appreciate things in life, like Nana, or it can gnaw away at you like a wild animal. The middle ground is confusing as hell. When I found out Nana was pregnant with Angel, I wondered if I could handle it.” He squared his shoulders. “If I had to do it all over again, I would, even knowing we’d lose Joey. Nothing and no one could have given us what Joey did in those six years.”
Brett thought about Lorelei twirling in the front yard, holding her head up high as they paraded into the theater with him playing bodyguard. Dozens of memories flew at him at breakneck speed. Lorelei was one of a kind. He’d never thought in terms of whether he would go back and relive the same life again, because it was so painful to know what lay ahead. But now, hearing Poppi’s confession, he thought he’d choose the same. But he’d work like hell to change his own behavior after she died. The trouble was, he knew he couldn’t have changed it then, which meant he’d live the same troubled life over again. Sophie didn’t deserve a troubled life, and he sure as hell didn’t want one.
