Page 55 of Tru Blue
She pushed up to a sitting position so she could see Truman’s face. She knew her eyes were probably red and puffy, and she was probably sporting a Rudolph nose, but he’d been brave enough to confess so much more. She owed him—and herself—the same honesty.
“I grew up swearing I’d shower my children in love, not things. That I’d never ignore them, not when they were cranky or when they wanted to tell me a silly story. Not ever.”
“You shower my children in love, and it’s like a gift to me and to them. Were you worried that you’d turn out like your mother?”
She shook her head, wishing it were that easy. “No. I feel too much to ever be that cold. People like you and me? We can’t turn off our emotions like that. The cruel joke is that when I was a teenager and all my friends got their periods, mine never came. It turns out, some dreams aren’t meant to come true. I was born without a uterus and with a shortened…um.” This part was much harder to admit, even though she’d dealt with it long ago. It wasn’t exactly something any woman wanted to say to her boyfriend.
Truman was looking at her with so much empathy, it made it easier for her to admit the rest.
“A shortened vagina. It’s called MKRH. It’s not hereditary or genetic. It’s a rare congenital birth defect. I don’t mean to gross you out—this is way too much information—but I didn’t want to give you half the story. I’ve never told anyone but my best friend about this.”
She looked away, embarrassed. With a tender touch, he drew her face back toward his.
“Gross me out? This is your body, and there’s nothing gross about it. Honestly, I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary…down there. Making love to you was the best experience of my life. Literally.”
He kissed her so intensely she wanted to keep kissing instead of revealing the rest of the story, but she’d made up her mind, and she truly wanted him to know.
“That’s because of the wonders of medicine. I had surgery when I was younger to fix that part, but I can never bear my own children.” She placed her hand over her barren belly. “I’ll never know what it feels like to have my baby inside me.”
“Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.” His voice was thick with sorrow.
“Thank you, but I’m actually lucky. I was born with ovaries, so I can use a surrogate one day if I ever decide to go that route. Someone can still give birth to my babies.”
“I can’t pretend to know what it feels like to be a woman and know I couldn’t carry my own children, but what I do know is that whether you give birth to your children or not, any child who grows up with you in their life will be damn lucky.”
“Does it bother you that I can’t get pregnant?” she asked carefully.
A sweet smile appeared on his handsome face and he shook his head, gathering her in his arms again, more gently this time, somehow knowing she no longer needed to steal his courage—he’d already given her enough.
“No, sweetheart. It doesn’t bother me.”
He pressed his lips to hers in a series of slow, intoxicating kisses, easing all her fears.
“If there’s one thing I’ve realized with Kennedy and Lincoln,” he said quietly, “it’s that whether they’re yours in the traditional sense or not doesn’t matter. The heart doesn’t care about bloodlines or birth parents. It just seems to know how to love in the same way our lungs know how to breathe.”
Chapter Seventeen
OVER THE NEXT week, Truman and Bear installed the fence around a play area in the side yard and began working on the office renovations. In the evenings, Bones and Bullet swung by to help, and Gemma and Dixie, who had become fast friends, took the kids on walks or hung out in the yard while Truman and the guys worked. More often than not, they all hung out and had dinner together, grilling out back and playing with the kids. They hadn’t begun building the wall in his apartment yet, but they’d get there. With Lincoln’s early-morning feedings, and working late into the evenings on the renovations, Truman’s days were long and exhausting, but he didn’t mind the hard work, and he loved working alongside his buddies.
