Page 46 of Infidelity

Maybe because it’s midnight, because it’s our second bottle of wine and I’m feeling so pleasantly relaxed that my questions start to take a different turn.

“How long has it been since you broke up with Delia?”

“She left almost a year ago.”

“My, a year. Is there a new woman?”

“No.”

“I find that hard to believe. You’ve always had someone in your bed.”

“I got burned, Anna,” he says, his voice unusually soft.

I can tell. This isn’t the Heinrich I remember—admissions as small as this one would be impossible in the past. I want to look in his eyes, but I’m afraid.

“Burned in what way?”

“I sent her to Calvin because she clung to me like a weeping vine and it was smothering me. But after she returned, she only stayed a few weeks. Then she left, her choice, because I didn’t have a heart open or big enough for her. Apparently Calvin did.”

I finally turn to him. “And it hurt?”

He turns to me. “Yes, it did. Like the past coming back to haunt me.”

“The past?”

“It hurt when I found you in bed with a lover, and it hurt when you left.”

There’s something strange going on between us, I almost want to cry. “You never said things like this before.”

“I guess I’ve become more vulnerable.” He paused. “I suppose that’s what a woman wants—even a submissive woman?”

He touches me inside myself—like his hand is reaching in, and my heart feels the gentle massage.

“Yes.”

“I’ve been numb, and angry and pretty sad for months—in no place to think about another woman.”

“And no scenes at Tethers?”

“No scenes.”

“Not a single one?”

“None.”

“You miss that?”

“Maybe. But I’m not racing down that road again.”

“So what would make you start over?”

He shrugs. “I’m not sure. The right woman, I suppose.”

We remain silent while I get used to all he’s said. Heinrich seems curiously peaceful.

“You’ve changed, Heinrich,” I tell him.

“Is that good?”

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