5
Haley
It’s been seven years since I last saw my boyfriend, and this morning feels like every other one – grim and gloomy, dim and full of despair. Depression has sunk into every fiber of this house and settled in like a funk. My dad does it on purpose. He wants this place to appear a monstrosity, and therefore the curtains stay closed. Everything is constantly shrouded in shadows, and there’s no hope allowed.
My eyes open to the ceiling and I take a long, deep breath. It’s time for my morning routine, but I feel like there’s something extra weighing on my shoulders today. Maybe it’s because I decided to look at the few old photos of me and Jace last night. They almost made me cry, to be honest. They’re all I have left of him. After that fateful night, my dad got rid of everything in my room that had to do with Jace. Luckily, there were a few things hidden too well for my him to find.
But I don’t know why I felt like looking at the photos. It was probably just a bout of nostalgia, but now I regret it. Thinking about the good times always leads to remembering the bad times and then the even worse times after that. I really thought Jace was going to whisk me away from this hell hole. All of my hope were wrapped up in him, but none of it mattered. Instead, I’m still here, and he’s gone.
After that awful visit to Corinna and Kelley, I tried calling and texting again, but nothing worked. His social media accounts were gone. It was as if he’d completely disappeared from the face of the earth. I must have cried for weeks, or maybe longer. I don’t know. My heart was absolutely broken, and I couldn’t believe that he left me just like that. Hadn’t we just been talking about going to New York together? Being together forever? What happened? Hadn’t he promised anal sex next time? Did I do something wrong? Drive him away somehow?
Unfortunately, it’s a time in my life I don’t remember with explicit detail. There’s just a whole lot of sadness, emptiness and lots of unanswered questions. Of course, Herb tried to make it seem like Jace’s departure was to be expected. After all, allegedly he was a good-for-nothing sonofabitch.
“Why are you still thinking about that loser? He couldn’t stand up to me and ran away, just like I knew he would. At least now you can get your life back on track,” Herb sneered. “You’ve learned your lesson, Haley. Never mess with trash like Jace King, and always listen to your father.”
I refused to believe my dad at first. A life without Jace was inconceivable. But when the weeks and then the months and then the years go by, there was almost no denying that Jace is really gone. A part of me still doesn’t want to admit my dad is right because giving him the satisfaction is so difficult for me.
I sigh as my finger traces the squareness of his jaw in the photograph. I’m sure he’s still the same beautiful man I fell in love with, and I don’t blame him for leaving even if he left me behind. I mean, who wouldn’t want to get the hell out of this place? My only hope is that he found happiness somehow, somewhere. At least one of us should be living a life we love.
I tuck the picture away with a sad smile and limp to the bathroom for a shower. While the water hits my upturned face, I finger the necklace Jace gave me. I never take it off. I don’t think my dad realized it was a gift from Jace or else he would have made sure it ended up in the trash heap. But the little trinket means the world to me, and even now, it provides a sense of relief. I thought time would heal my wounds, but I feel like it’s just been a sustained heartbreak for seven years. Seven years without Jace. It’s hard to believe.
I step out of the shower and dry myself off before picking out some clothes and putting them on. I’m just about done getting dressed, when there’s a shy knock on the door.
“Come in.” I tuck my necklace into my shirt and turn around just in time. The door creaks open, and Jamie shoots me a sweet smile. The little boy is still in his pajamas, and he gently closes the door behind him, making sure it doesn’t make too much noise.
“Hi Mom,” he whispers. My heart pumps. This is the true gift that Jace left me, and I’ll always be thankful for it. I press a kiss to Jamie’s dark hair.
“Hey sweetie, did you sleep okay?”