Page 16 of You’re Mine

He nods, but I know my son’s just lying to make me feel better. Jamie usually sleeps with me, but last night my dad yelled at him for ‘being such a baby,’ telling him he needed to ‘man up.’ What the hell? He’s all of six years old. Regardless, Herb made Jamie stay in his room and I’m sure he had a difficult night.

I join him on the bed, wrapping my arms around his small body.

“You know, you don’t have to whisper.” I place another small kiss on the top of his head. Holding him always makes me feel better.

“I don’t want to make Grandpa angry,” Jamie replies, still keeping quiet. “It’s not good when Grandpa’s angry,” he adds. I don’t want him to see how upset I am, so I put on my happy face and bring my cheek really close to his.

“Well, Grandpa is going to be away for a couple days – maybe even longer – so we can be as loud as we want.” Fortunately, Herb is having one of his rare extended business trips, the type where he doesn’t know how long he’ll be gone for. We can actually relax for a bit.

“He’s really gone?” Jamie asks, his face brightening. I move back and nod solemnly. My little guy finally smiles, and it’s like the sun coming out from behind the clouds. He throws his arms around my shoulders, sending me falling back on to the bed.

“Well, look who’s happy today!” I gaze into his impossibly blue eyes. He looks so much like his dad, it’s crazy. They’ve got the same azure gaze, as well as the same night-black hair. Of course, finding out I was pregnant was the shock of my life. I knew it was possible since Jace and I hadn’t used a condom, but no one ever thinks it’s going to happen to them their first time. But I wasn’t upset that I was having Jace’s baby. In fact, I was ecstatic, because this is a memory of the man I love.

Unfortunately, after finding out I was pregnant, Herb spent months calling me a whore, a tramp, a slut – any name he could think of. He desperately wanted me to have an abortion, but I refused. Jamie was all I had left of Jace, and there was no way I would give him up. Nothing my dad could say would convince me, and fortunately, Herb talked to his pastor, who convinced him that the baby was innocent. Even with Jace as the father, the baby could be untainted.

So I’m lucky in a way. I don’t have my man anymore, but I have his perfect, angelic son. I live and die for Jamie, and he’s the only thing that keeps me going on in this life.

“What do you want to do today?” I ask with a smile. I don’t like being sad around my son because he really is the only bright spot in this dismal house. We have a pretty basic routine that, when my dad is home, we rarely deviate from. But today, with a little imagination, the possibilities are endless.

The little boy pulls a face.

“Do I have to do school stuff?” He sounds hopeful and blinks at me with an innocent expression.

I tilt my head to the side because it is a weekday and, normally, after breakfast, I start with lessons. Jamie is homeschooled and today, we would be doing basic addition, maybe with some subtraction thrown in at the end to show him what’s next on the syllabus. Putting together lesson plans is a bit of a struggle for me, but the internet helps to guide me through quite a bit of it. My only worry is what is going to happen when Jamie surpasses my own knowledge. Homeschooling won’t be enough then, but for now, I’m not going to worry about that because a day off could be fun.

“We could do school stuff,” I say slowly, “or we could have ice cream for breakfast, jump on the bed, paint, or go for a swim. Whatever you want.” Jamie flops back on the bed and looks up at the ceiling as he thinks about what to do. His little feet bounce up and down in anticipation. Sometimes I can’t believe this beautiful boy came from inside me. What are the chances?

He thinks some more and then grins.

“Can we have ice cream for breakfast first?” he asks brightly. I make a face like I’m really considering whether or not I’m going to say yes and then I attack his tummy with tickles.

“Of course we can, baby!” He wiggles around, pushing at my hands and giggling.

“Mommy, nooooo!” His laughter always makes me go warm inside, and I smile widely. But then I get up, and motion for him to follow. We go to the bathroom where I watch him brush his teeth and wash his face, and then Jamie turns around so I can do a quick inspection.

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