A smile curved the edges of Jude’s lips. “Evan Maddox is a son of a bitch!” She expelled a huge sigh. “God, that felt good.” She frowned. “But so disdainfully shallow.”
“We need to bottom out before we can rebuild,” Nola cooed.
Jude’s hopelessness rekindled. “I’m afraid I’m…un-rebuildable.” She sniffled and rolled onto her side, a fetal position for ruminating. “I’m doomed to be alone forever.”
A new Jude? Ridiculous, but she did have dreams and she did have needs; ones she’d never allowed herself to ponder upon for fear of being…selfish…non-benevolent…imperiously self-involved like so many of her peers.
Like her parents and then Evan, when they’d abandoned her over and over again in pursuit of their own dreams.
Could she be different? Could there be a happy medium? Had she given up reaching for the things she wanted from life, as penance over some misconstrued sense of unworthiness?
She flipped to her stomach and propped herself on her elbows. “Reinvention brings conflict. Conflict is disconcerting to me.”
“Aw, honey. A little conflict is good for the soul. It lets us know what we’re made of.”
She rested her face in her palms. “I should be content with my life.”
Nola frowned. “Content? That sounds like the thoughts of an abandon dog at the pound. You deserve more.” She smiled that impish smile. “What do you want, Jude Duffy?”
Jude rested her chin on the backs of her hands. Lying on any floor was emphatically disgusting. She hardly recognized herself. Maybe that was a good thing because, so far, being Dr. Jude Duffy had yielded very little happiness.
“A child.” Someone to love, a family. She’d never been part of a real family. She wanted one of her own. “I’ve published a few children’s books between my journal publications.”
Fairy Godmother became silent for a moment. “Wow. I was really hoping for easy. Like a new job or a better haircut or something.” Nola stood, grabbed Jude’s hand and pulled her to her unsteady feet. “But we can work with that. You’re at Castle Alainn in the most mystical month of the year. October is when the ghosts of the Tragic Lovers haunt, looking for star-crossed lovers to unite. What about a nice man to date?”
Jude slumped. “Yes, I suppose I’m asking for too much.” She didn’t really want a man. They were…recalcitrant at best and had never brought her happiness. She just wanted the baby one could provide.
“What about adoption?”
Jude shook her head. Her co-worker had waited seven years for her adoption to become final. “I’m too old to wait for the paperwork to go through.”
“Artificial insemination?”
She grimaced. “One doesn’t really know whose genes are in that tube. I’d like to at least know something about my child’s father’s genetics. Only…” She turned her back on Nola and rummaged through her shoe selection for the week.
“What?” Nola encouraged.
Jude sighed and turned to her confidant. “I’ve only had one man interested in me my whole life. And he was gay. Those are not promising statistics.”
“Statistics shouldn’t be applied to love.” Nola rested her hands on her slim hips. “Let’s start with having a little fun getting to know the new Ms. Duffy. Now get dressed and be down in the lobby in thirty minutes. I have a feeling your life is about to get interesting.”
Nola closed Jude’s suitcase and stowed it in the closet. She walked toward the suite door, then turned back with a smile. “One never knows when one’s destiny will be fulfilled.”
She winked and left Jude to her own thoughts…and her hair.
Who the heck “one” was, Jude had no idea. Certainly not her.
She flicked on the TV to some talk show. She never watched TV and this ridiculousness was exactly why.
Her stomach heaved as she recognized Evan and Timothy on USA Buzz, introducing their new reality show and the surrogate who would deliver their love child. Jude had made them famous.
She dropped to the bed and stared at the screen.
“Our little bundle of joy is due in May!”
Jude flinched at Evan’s words. He’d wanted to wait to have sex, to have a family. How ironic is it that his new lover had achieved all she’d ever wanted, without even having the right parts.
A steel knife jabbed her windpipe, her heart fractured in two. Was she destined to be alone forever? Or could Nola be right?