Page 88 of Miss Me Not

"Sorry, Mads. I didn't mean to knock you down so hard. You were going a little faster than I thought," he said, reaching out to softly stroke my cheek. Concentrating on breathing became even more difficult as I realized that he was sprawled on top of me. For the briefest moment, it felt good to feel the weight of his body on mine as I studied his lips, silently wishing they would touch mine. Seeing the acceptance in my eyes, he leaned in closer, letting all his weight rest on me. Then suddenly, with a flip of some kind of inner switch, his weight no longer felt good as it pinned me against the ground, making it impossible to move. I panicked, pushing and shoving at him to try and dislodge his weight from mine. My ears were filled with a weird whining noise that only added to my hysteria.

Confusion clouded Dean's eyes as he lifted himself off me. I wanted to tell him I was okay. I needed to tell him it wasn't him, it was me. Any words I could have uttered were drowned out by the strange sound ricocheting through my ears. I tried to remember if I hit my head when we had crashed to the ground.

"Madison, it's okay," he said, kneeling beside me.

I wondered if he was hearing the buzzing noise also.

"Madison, it's okay," he repeated, looking panic stricken over his shoulder.

Understanding slowly dawned on me. The strange noise was coming from my own throat. Clamping my hand over my mouth, I stifled the noise with the palm of my hand. Instantly, the buzzing in my ears ceased.

"Is she okay, D?" I heard Trish ask as she came up behind Dean.

Oh, here we go, I thought. This was when my inner freak would shine through.

"Yeah, just got the wind knocked out of her," Dean answered, covering for me. "Go ahead and wash up. We'll be inside in a minute."

"Way to go, dip," Trish chastised him. "Good job, Madison," she added, beaming down at me.

I nodded, not trusting myself to try actual speech yet.

"You okay?" Dean asked for the third time after she walked away.

"Just trying to give your family the full freak show," I mumbled, slowly sitting up.

"Here, let me help you," he said, reaching out a hand to pull me to my feet. "What happened?" he finally asked when I was standing in front of him.

"I don't know, Sport-o. Could it be that you knocked the air out of me, and then proceeded to crush my lungs with your weight?" I retorted, going for the defensive as anger swirled up inside me. I had nothing to apologize for. He was the one that was changing the rules midway in. It wasn't my fault.

"Cut the shit," he said, grabbing my shoulders so I couldn't walk away. "What. Happened?" he asked, emphasizing his words.

All fight went out of me as my shoulders drooped underneath his hands. "I don't know," I answered honestly. I didn't understand my panic. I thought I was adjusting to his touch, at least enough where I didn't freak if his skin touched mine.

"What happened to you?" he asked quietly, stepping closer to me.

"It's not what happened to me, it's what I did," I said, pulling away from him.

"Madison, are you okay, dear?" Sarah asked, coming around the house to join us.

"Yeah, I just go the air knocked out of me," I answered, not looking at Dean.

"You poor thing. That's the worst feeling ever," she said, putting an arm around my shoulder. "I'm sure my son is to blame," she said knowingly.

I nodded as she led me around the house.

"Men, they always like to use brute force," she ridiculed, glaring at her son.

"Hey, it was an accident," Dean defended himself.

Chapter seventeen

So far, Thanksgiving with the Jackson clan was different than anything I had ever experienced, and dinner was no exception. It was every bit as loud and chaotic as Dean had predicted, but I couldn't help responding to it like a flower in the sun. All of the laughter, cheer and obviously genuine love had me forgetting my anxiety from earlier.

Dozens of conversations went on at the same time around me as I soaked it all in. The food was mouthwatering, and I was surprised to learn that Dean was responsible for the deep fried turkeys that made up the main course. He was a guy of many talents.

"What do you think?" Dean asked, leaning over so I could hear him over the noise.

"It's crazy," I said, relieved he was willing to forget about my meltdown. "But in a good way," I added. "There's so many conversations going on, I feel like my head is spinning."

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