Page 66 of Bannerless (The Bannerless Saga 1)

He wasn’t smiling. “Well, you can’t continue with just one of you.”

Investigators always worked in pairs. They could help each other. Keep an eye on each other. Easier to face down a whole town with two of you. Dak was right, she couldn’t continue alone. Not that she even wanted to. She looked down at her hands, the brown fabric on her sleeves, the uniform that terrified folk wherever she went. Hard not to draw a line: the job had killed Tomas. The uniform. She suddenly wanted to rip hers off and bury it in a hole.

“It’s not your fault, Enid.”

No, she supposed it wasn’t. But it felt like it.

“Can I ask,” Dak said, “did Philos really try to bribe you with a banner?”

“He did.”

“There’s folk that’d just about kill to get a banner handed to them.”

“Folk like Ariana?” she said, not really meaning to. Now wasn’t the time to make digs.

He didn’t laugh; Enid expected him to, but he didn’t. Frowning, he looked away, and she realized she had touched something tender. She was afraid to breathe, to jostle it. He said, “Pasadan seemed like a good place for children. Part of why I wanted to settle here. I’m lucky Ariana agreed to put up with me.”

Enid stared. Dak wanted a banner? She never would have expected it. But she studied the gray strands in his hair and wondered if he had started thinking of mortality. He might leave songs behind but not his voice. Surely in all his travels, he’d wooed women from households that might earn a banner and ask him to be the father? Ah, but fathering children was different than being a father, wasn’t it? Did he really want to be a father? She remembered the story he’d told, how his childhood household had been dissolved because of his father’s abuse.

Was that what he’d been looking for on his travels? A household of his own to replace the one he’d lost?

“She seems like she’d be a good mother.”

Now, he smiled. “Well, so would you. But I missed that chance, didn’t I?”

There was an invitation in that statement, if she wanted it. If she wanted to be very cynical indeed, she could go further: with this investigation, maybe Pasadan didn’t look like such a nice place for children after all. His offer to go back with her to Haven might have been more than a favor.

Enid didn’t want to think that badly of him. Did he really think she could turn her back on so much of her life, and for him? Well, maybe he did, after all. She’d done it once before. She looked at Dak now and felt sadness for her younger self, who’d known so little. She ought to forgive her younger self for that.

“You did,” she murmured. She didn’t even regret it. “I don’t think I told you—my household is called Serenity. The man I love is named Sam. We live with Olive and Berol, and the four of us have been friends for . . . for years now. And we have a banner.” Just not a baby. Not yet. They only needed patience, and patience could be learned. She said, “I already have what I need.”

He hadn’t known any of this and seemed stricken, as if she had slapped him. “You don’t need me, then.”

“No, Dak. I don’t.”

He chuckled, and the flippant, familiar Dak returned. “Well. I am very sorry for that.”

“No, you’re not. Sing a few songs, you’ll find a woman more than willing to sidle up to you. Most of ’em will even earn a banner in a few years, if that’s really what you want.” But he might have to leave Pasadan to do it.

“Sure, but none of them’ll be you.”

He only wanted her because in the end, she walked away from him instead of the other way around. Maybe the only one who ever had.

“Dak, can I take a look at your feet?”

“What?”

She had already knelt at his feet to study the laced leather, the rubber of the soles. This put her in quite a vulnerable position, she realized. He could so easily kick her in the face and run, and she didn’t have an enforcer watching her back anymore. But she didn’t think Dak would go that far, and she was right.

After she had measured the length and width of his feet against her hands, she returned to standing. She’d have to check against her notes. Later. She’d do it later. The day had already exhausted her.

“I didn’t do it, Enid.”

“I never said you did. I think I’d like to be alone for a little while. Thanks for the offer of going back to Haven with me. I’ll let you know when I decide.”

He went away without argument, for which she was grateful.

When he was gone, back in the direction of Newhome, she took a walk to Sero’s house. She needed to look at that shed one more time.

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