Page 54 of Wintertime Love (Holiday 2)

I don’t believe in such things but for a moment, I want it to be real and I lower my pen and write the deepest desire in my heart that I can’t seem to voice out.

“What did you wish for?” Finn asks me later as we walk away and

I give him a shy smile. “Just something silly.” Although it isn’t silly.

‘Don’t let me lose this happiness.’

Chapter 10

Sharon canceling the party throws me off because I had closed down the diner for that day to prepare the food. But since Ben got sick, and his parents are out of town visiting relatives, Sharon decided to take care of him.

I assume the woman that it’s fine when she comes by, worried about having wasted my resources. I assure her that I can use them for something else. I’m secretly happy that she and Ben are getting along. A few words with her is enough to tell me that Sharon is deeply in love with my friend and I couldn’t be more pleased for Danny.

However, this frees up my Friday altogether and without telling anyone, I go to visit my parents’ grave. I park my car outside the cemetery and stare at the well maintained graveyard.

I have never visited them here at the cemetery.

The last time I was here was when Aunt Vee and Aunt Helen stood by me as I cried through my final farewells to them. After that, I have never had the strength to go see their graves. My aunts initially used to offer to go with me but I would turn them down every time. After a few years, they just stopped, understanding my silence.

Yet, today, after so many years, I find myself here, sitting outside in the car, wanting to go in and yet unable to find the strength to move. I don’t know what prompted me to get in my car and drive all the way here but now that I am here, I feel restless.

Should I have brought flowers?

My hands clench on the steering wheel as I feel the turmoil in my heart.

Just go in, you coward, I mumble to myself silently. And yet my feet won’t budge.

A sharp rap on the passenger side window makes me jump and my wide eyes see a familiar face peering in at me with a smile. I press the button to disengage the lock.

Finn opens the door and slides in, his nose and ears red from the cold.

“Where’s your hat and muffler?” I ask, seeing him shivering and I take off my muffler then wrap it around his neck, carefully.

“You do care.” He grins at me.

I give him a wry smile, not offering anything else.

He warms his hands in front of the car heater. “What are you doing sitting out here?”

My gaze unwittingly goes to the cemetery and then back at him, and I don’t say anything for a moment. Then I say it, “I – I wanted to go see my parents.”

Finn studies me. “They’re buried here.” His voice is quiet. It’s a statement not a question.

I curl my hands around the steering wheel. “I never visited them. Not even once. How am I supposed to go now?” I don’t know why I’m talking to him about this but the words are pouring out and I snap my mouth shut.

Finn turns halfway in his seat to face me, a wistful look on his face. His cold hand comes to cup my soft cheek and he searches my eyes for something. “Is it that hard for you to open up to me?” His tone unbearably gentle,

I part my lips, my defensiveness on the rise, about to retort but it dies on my lips as I take in his expression, instead turning my head away and mumbling, “Sorry.”

However, Finn doesn’t want me to avert my eyes. He grips me by the chin and guides my head back. “Why didn’t you go visit your parents before now?” It’s a blunt question but is spoken with delicate tenderness.

I stare at him, feeling lost. “I – I couldn’t.”

“Why not?”

My eyes burn as I push his hand off. “You wouldn’t –“ But I stop myself before I finish that sentence. He wouldn’t’t understand? Didn’t he also lose both his parents at a young age as well? “Sorry.” I shake my head and reach down to twist the key in the ignition, “This was a stupid idea. Let’s go get—”

Finn covers my hand with his own. “Do you know that I was never allowed to visit my parents grave.” His voice is rough. “The first time I managed to do that was when I finally graduated and started my company, no longer dependent on my grandmother. I stood outside the graveyard for three hours in the rain, not knowing what to say to them about why I had been gone for so long. I had to go face them alone. You don’t have to do that. Let me go with you.”

---