Page 79 of Kayla's Cowboy

“You seem pensive,” Jackson observed, “and not as if you’re remembering something good.”

“Memories can be complicated.”

He pulled her down to sit on a rock and looked unusually serious himself. “I’ve been thinking, too, and I want to be sure you know how sorry I am. You were right that I wanted to blame you instead of remembering you’d gotten stuck with the hard road.”

“I didn’t get stuck, Jackson. I could have gotten an abortion, but I wanted to have the baby. And it wasn’t because I had lingering romantic dreams about you—those vanished the day I told you I was pregnant. My biggest fear was what kind of parent I might be. I even considered giving Alex up for adoption, but in the end, I just decided to do my best.”

“I’m still sorry I acted as if the injury was one-sided.”

His sincerity got to her, except she didn’t want to see him in an increasingly positive light; keeping her distance was easier when she could focus on his faults. She didn’t want to explore the reasons why the thought of getting close was so frightening.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

ALEX WAS GLAD that it wouldn’t be a huge group coming that day. This way he’d have a better chance to watch Mom and Jackson to see if Sandy was right.

But they barely talked to each other.

Mom mostly sat with Grandma Elizabeth. Jackson moved stuff around where Grandma Sarah told him she wanted it, and he also kept skimming leaves off the pool. It wasn’t as if they seemed angry—they just didn’t pay much attention to each other. Of course, Sandy would say that also meant something, but she was full of hot air.

After a while Alex took a turn cranking the ice cream freezer, the same as he’d seen in an old movie. It was harder than he’d thought, but Grandpa Parker said that was because the ice cream was getting thick.

As he worked, the chicken and steaks came off the grill and he was glad he’d switched back to meat. Grilled steak smelled better than anything in the world.

“People in Montana sure barbecue a lot,” he said, getting up from the ice cream churn so Morgan could take over.

“I don’t know about everybody, but we do,” Grandpa Parker said. “Especially when we’re celebrating new members of the family.” He winked. “Hope you don’t mind, but we think DeeDee should be an honorary granddaughter.”

“I think she’d like that.”

“How about it, DeeDee?” Grandpa Parker called across the patio. “Can we adopt you as another granddaughter?”

“Sure,” DeeDee agreed enthusiastically.

“Great. It’s been so good having Morgan, we’d like to double our blessings in the granddaughter department.”

Alex looked at Morgan, whose cheeks had gone pink. He knew she’d wondered if everyone thought she was some kind of mistake, so what Grandpa Parker had said probably sounded good to her. They’d emailed back and forth a lot and she’d told him things that might have been too embarrassing to say out loud.

“Now, Parker, share and share alike,” Grandpa Hank said. “We’re making Morgan part of our family, as well.”

“That makes us related, doesn’t it?”

“We’ll try to put up with you for Morgan’s sake, even though you don’t know what you’re talking about when it comes to ice cream.”

Alex laughed. Having a big family was working out okay. Sometimes there was awkward stuff, but maybe the good stuff made it worthwhile.

It would be dope sleeping out at the ranch. Grandpa Parker had a humongous telescope and DeeDee had brought the one she’d gotten for her birthday. DeeDee was more into astronomy than him, but he liked it a whole lot.

After lunch the girls started a water volleyball game and he was going to join in when Jackson came over. “How about a ride, Alex? I can borrow a horse from my dad, and I’m sure Betty would like to get out again.”

“Uh, sure.” Alex’s stomach churned and he wished he hadn’t eaten steak after all, but he couldn’t duck and run every time the guy wanted to spend time with him.

A short while later they rode in a direction Alex hadn’t gone before. After a mile they came to an old log cabin.

“This is where the McGregors lived when they first came to Montana,” Jackson explained. “We restored it a couple of years ago after one corner fell down.”

“That’s cool, I guess,” Alex said, trying to imagine living in such a small, dark place.

“They didn’t stay there long,” Jackson said. “After a few years they built another home with milled lumber.”

“Where’s that one?”

---