But when I unfolded the note, it wasn’t Ivy’s sprawling handwriting that greeted me, but a cramped and precise penmanship that nevertheless seemed familiar, though I couldn’t place it.
Please meet me at the Serpentine bridge at noon tomorrow. Alone. Please make sure you are not followed by anyone.
-B
“Secret admirer?” Silas asked.
I flipped the paper over, looking for any other clues as to who it came from. “Did you see the woman who delivered it?” I asked.
The hotel clerk shook his head.
I truly had no idea who it could be. There was a time in my life when I would have suspected a variety of women, but certainly not in the past year, when I’d dedicated my life to Violet and then to Ivy. I tossed the note on the writing desk and gestured to Silas. “I’ll worry about it later. Let’s go.”
“Have you given any thought to the Baron’s party?”
We were strolling in the park once more, Ivy and me in front, Silas and Esther in back. Silas had worked his usual magic, and Esther was giggling and flushing like a girl half her age, and more importantly, giving Ivy and myself quite a lot of space.
“I have,” she said, in that distant way that meant her mind was only half on our conversation. Her eyes were tracing the trees and flitting over to the Serpentine, where laughing people rowed small boats around the lake, and I knew she wanted to be doing more than pacing sedately through the park, taking part in the slow and dull parade of fashionable people trying their best to get other fashionable people to notice them.
I wondered if she noticed how they stared at her as we walked, admiring her, feeling jealous of her, looking so effortlessly beautiful in the smart striped gown that Esther had purchased. But no, she was oblivious to their stares, to the way the women appraised and the men gazed appreciatively.
“I’m not sure yet,” she said. “About the party. If I belong there.”
“Oh, you belong there, wildcat. The question is: will you let yourself belong there?”
She frowned, a tiny crease forming in between her brows. I wanted to kiss it so badly that I forced myself to look away to the lake, worried that my control would finally snap and that I’d have her pinned against
a tree with my cock grinding against her while I devoured her mouth.
What I wouldn’t give to have her legs around my waist right now…
I discreetly adjusted myself, forcing myself to think ice water and porridge thoughts while she looked off in the distance. She finally spoke, softly. “I’m afraid. I’m afraid of what I’ll do if I go.”
“I know.”
“Ladies shouldn’t want the things you make me want.”
I stopped walking and so did she. “I didn’t know that you were so preoccupied with being a proper lady.”
She shook her head. “That’s not what I meant. Not proper ladies but any lady. Any person. Do you think it’s natural to want pain with pleasure? Do you think it’s natural to want to be swallowed up by another person? No human with a free mind and working conscience should consent to those things.”
“And why is that, wildcat? Do you measure your worth by how you love? Do you measure your humanity by the power you hold over people or the power that people hold over you? Who is anyone to say this is right or this is natural? Doesn’t the very fact that you want it make it natural to you?”
“I…I don’t know.”
I took her chin in my hand and tilted her face to mine. “I think you do. Fear is part of this world, Ivy. So is uncertainty. But those things are only bad if they paralyze us and keep us from living our lives the way we want.”
She met my eyes, and her gaze was uncertain. “I’m not certain of anything anymore, Julian. The only thing I’m sure of is that I am still in love with you and that I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.”
She’s still in love with me. My stomach knotted. How could there be so much love and still we were apart?
I couldn’t help myself; I moved my thumb over her lower lip. It was so full, so soft, and then her mouth parted ever so slightly and I grew instantly, painfully hard.
I’m not sure what my face revealed, but Ivy’s pupils dilated as she looked at me. “I can’t seem to make myself stop wanting you,” she said huskily.
God, this woman destroyed me. It made me want to destroy her back—tweak her nipples and bite her clit and spank her ass for making me so in love with her.
“You know that you own me, Ivy Leavold. Let me prove it. Let me prove it for the rest of our lives.”
