Page 74 of American King (New Camelot Trilogy 3)
It would be so easy to say it. So easy to stop.
So why am I not stopping it? Why am I letting him throw me on the bed? Crawl over me? Yank off my jacket and tie and shoes as if they’ve offended him somehow?
It was less terrible when I didn’t have a safe word, when I didn’t have any agency in my own humiliation. When I could fight back knowing that Ash would win, pretending I didn’t have a choice. But now, I have the easiest word of all—no—and the mere existence of the word is driven into me like a nail, like a spear into my heart and I’m leaking blood and water around it. It can’t kill me because I’m already dead, or at least my self-respect is, because I could stop this, but I won’t.
I won’t, I won’t.
I’m disgusted with myself.
I’m stripped bare, and the moment my cock springs free from my boxer briefs, Ash gives it a punishing slap, making me cry out and arch. My cock responds in the most embarrassing way, bobbing and leaking merrily, my balls drawing up tight to my body as if they’re ready to spill their load at any moment.
He slaps it again, and his answering erection is so massive right now. He gives it a thoughtless, impatient shift to readjust it, too busy making me feel bad to make himself feel good.
Another slap. There’s pre-cum on my belly again, my toes are digging into the covers, and Greer is slowly undressing by the side of the bed, her eyes glued to the sight of my punished cock.
“Why are you doing this?” I ask on a groan.
“Because maybe you’ve forgotten after two years apart,” he says, “but you belong to me.”
Another slap. My erection is mottled in shades of red, and I’m shivering with the sudden endorphin rush from the pain.
“You could say no,” he says. “Right now. Tell me that you don’t want to me to touch you. To speak to you. To look at you.”
I close my eyes. “Fuck you,” I whisper.
“That’s not your safe word.” Another slap, this time lighter but right against my testicles. I grunt in pain. “Do you need help remembering it? It starts with n and ends with o. Say no to me, Embry. Say it right now. You’ve never had trouble saying it to me before.”
“I hate you.”
“I love you and I’m going to make you cry tonight if you don’t say no to me.” My nipples are twisted with savage speed, I’m rolled over and spanked so hard on the ass that I feel it reverberating through my hair follicles, spanked on that tender spot where my thighs meet my butt, spanked so hard that I know he must have ruptured blood vessels in his palm.
I grunt into the covers, my body rigid. It hurts like fuck, but he can beat me till I scream and I still won’t cry for him. Not tonight, not ever again.
“Goddammit, Embry, just say it,” he seethes. His palm is like a hail of fire behind me; Moses himself has never seen fire like the kind Ash is burning into my ass, and he doesn’t stop, he won’t stop until he wrenches that safe word from me, but he won’t get it—or my tears—he doesn’t get to parade victory in every corner of my soul tonight. No fucking way.
“I hate you,” I mumble again into the sheets, and then there’s the cool, slim fingers of Greer’s hand on my neck, running through my hair. I feel her curling over me, her hair soft and whispering against my skin, and I’m distantly aware that she’s naked too, and that she’s murmuring gentle things into my ear as Ash lays blows on my ass like I’ve never had before. It’s okay and you’re so brave, so good to him to let him do this and you’re so handsome right now, I’m so wet over you, Embry, so wet.
“Say it,” Ash growls though gritted teeth. “Fucking say it.”
“You can’t make me safe out,” I gasp. “And you can’t make me cry.”
“And you can’t make a liar out of me. You’ll cry.”
“You already lied,” I say petulantly into the bed. “You said you loved me before the debate.”
The spankings stop; the bed dips as he climbs over me, and the fabric of his trousers on my bare, spanked ass is so cruelly abrading. “I do love you,” he murmurs into my ear.
“Liar.”
“Do you really think that I can’t be angry and in love at the same time?”
“What do you want from me?”
He unknots his tie and it drops ominously next to my face. I feel him unbutton and shrug off his shirt. I feel him unzip his pants and tug them down his hips, and then he’s flipping me over and straddling me. I moan as he leans forward and our naked cocks knock together, which makes him smile wickedly.
“What I just said,” he breathes, leaning down to run his nose along my jaw again. “For you to know that no matter how far you run, no matter how hard you fight, no matter how much you think you hate me, you will always belong to me.” He bites my earlobe, straightens up, and then rubs his cock along the abused length of mine.
“Shit,” I gasp. “Holy shit.”
