Page 43 of Priest (Priest 1)
“You broke your vow,” she said finally.
I glanced down at her; she was both sleepy and sad. I pressed my lips against her forehead.
“I know,” I finally replied. “I know.”
“What happens now?”
“What do you want to happen?”
She blinked up at me. “I want to fuck you again.”
I laughed. “Like now?”
“Yes, like now.”
She twisted in my arms until she was straddling my legs, and it only took one of her deep kisses to make me hard again. I lifted her up and guided myself inside, groaning quietly into her neck as she sat back down.
Slivers of sensation became known to me. Warmth and wetness. Her ass against my thighs. Her tits so close to my mouth.
“What do you want to happen next, Tyler?” she asked me, and I couldn’t believe she was asking me this now, while she was riding me, but then as I tried to answer, I realized why. She didn’t want me to be guarded, she wanted me to be honest and raw and like this, I couldn’t possibly be anything else.
“I don’t want us to stop,” I admitted. She rolled her hips back and forth over me, and I did press my face in her chest then, feeling my climax building too fast, much too fast. “I feel like I…”
But I couldn’t say it. Not even now, when she had me completely at her mercy. It was simply too soon—and not to mention ridiculous.
Priests weren’t allowed to fall in love.
I wasn’t allowed to fall in love.
Her fingers twined through my hair and she pulled my head back so she could look at me. “I’ll say it if you won’t,” she said.
“Poppy…”
“I want to know everything about you. I want you to tell me what you think about politics, and I want you to read Scriptures to me, and I want to have conversations in Latin. I want to fuck you every day. I fantasize constantly about us moving in together, living every moment together. What is that,
Tyler, if it’s not—”
I clapped my hand over her mouth, and in an instant, had her on her back with me pushing into her.
“Don’t say it,” I told her. “Not yet.”
“Why?” she whispered, her eyes wide and a little hurt. “Why not?”
“Because once you say it, once I say it, then everything has to change.”
“Hasn’t it already?”
She was right. It had changed the moment I kissed her in the presence of God. It had changed the moment I bent her over that piano. Maybe it had even changed the moment she stepped into my confessional booth.
But if I loved her…if she loved me…what did that mean for all of my work here? I couldn’t carry on a secret affair and still crusade against sexual immorality in the clergy—but if I walked away from my vocation, then I would lose the ability to crusade at all. I would lose the man I was.
The only other choice was losing Poppy, and I wasn’t ready to think about that yet. So instead of answering her question, I pulled out and flipped her over, driving into her from behind while I slid a hand around her hip and found her clit. Only three or four strokes like this and she was there, like I knew she would be; the more aggressive I was, the faster she came.
I followed her over the edge, chanting her name like a prayer and pumping the whole time, as if I could fuck the future and its horrible choices away.
Oh, God, what I would give for that to be true.
“I still can’t believe how clean your house is,” Poppy said.
