Page 43 of Surviving Year One (Grim Reaper Academy 1)

We were both silent for a while. Eventually, when he saw that I wasn’t going to change my mind, he nodded and offered to walk me up to my room. I told him to go back to the party and to his parents and reassure them that I was fine. The truth was that I didn’t want to go straight to my room. Not yet. I wanted to stop by the Holy Chapel first, sit in an aisle, and gaze upon the gold statue of Christ on the cross until my eyes hurt. I knew I wouldn’t find the answers to my questions there, but I would find peace, and for now, peace would have to do.

I probably spent half of the night in the Holy Chapel. When I finally went up to my room, I was so tired that my brain couldn’t come up with any new theories about what Lorna had showed me and the entire school. I crashed and slept till late afternoon. When I woke up, everyone was already gone. The Christmas vacation had officially begun, and I was the only student left at the Academy. Only a few professors had stayed, along with minimal staff. Or, so I thought…

* * *

I loved having the whole Academy to myself. Not that I intended to do much, but still. It felt nice to go exploring wherever I pleased without having to look over my shoulder every two minutes and try to anticipate what my bullies might be up to this time. Lorna had gone home with her parents, and so had Sariel, GC, and Francis. I’d thought Paz had done the same at first; after all, his mother had come to the Yule Ball. When I saw him sitting by himself in the library, my heart sank. Shit shit shit. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say? I wanted to apologize, but that would’ve meant confessing that it had been me who’d messed with Sariel’s scythe. No, I couldn’t apologize. Not out loud. I could say I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry over and over in my head, until, maybe, it worked, and my guilt was appeased.

“Hey, GC’s arm candy!”

“Don’t call me that!”

“GC’s girlfriend, then?” He grinned. He knew he was pissing me off. He was doing it on purpose.

“I’m not defined by whom I date.” I rolled my eyes.

“Aha! So, you two are dating. Like… it’s for real. You’re an item.” He patted the seat next to him. “I thought after last night, things would be different.”

I sat down. The gash on his cheek was red an

d swollen, but at least it wasn’t bleeding anymore. Sariel had gotten him good. No. I’d gotten him good.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be home for the holidays?”

“Oh, you haven’t heard? My father is disowning me.”

“What the fuck? Your father as in… Satan? Satan is disowning you?”

“Yeah. Because I broke the engagement. My sister was pissed. At least, now I know he’s always liked her better.” He laughed, but there wasn’t much joy in it.

“Crap. I’m sorry.”

“Whatever. It wasn’t like I was going to inherit the throne of Hell or anything. But now I do have to become a Grim Reaper. It’s my only option. So, here I am, at the library, trying to figure out how to earn myself some more worth points.”

I looked at him as if he were the eighth wonder of the world. Pazuzu struggling to gain worth points? Since when was everything so completely and utterly upside down? Since I’d started dating GC? Since Sariel had made an ass of himself on the stage? Since Paz had broken up with Pandora? For some reason, it suddenly felt like I had the upper hand, like I wasn’t the ostracized one anymore. And for some reason… it didn’t feel as great as I’d hoped it would feel.

“I better go.” I stood up to leave, but he grabbed me by the hand and pulled me back down. I resisted him. “I don’t want Patty to see us together.”

“Oh, Patty!” he laughed out loud. “Well, she isn’t here, is she? What business would she have at the library? She’s probably in the kitchen, baking some shepherd’s pie for dinner.”

“How do you know it’s shepherd’s pie?”

“It’s my favorite, and I asked her to make it.”

I pulled my hand free and made to walk away. “You’re a jerk. You’re just taking advantage of her, and I don’t know to what end, but it sucks. You suck. She really likes you, you know.”

“You really don’t know why I’m going out with her?”

I turned to face him, my hands curled into fists at my sides. The idiot! Patricia was my friend! My only friend in this wretched place filled with venomous snakes and lizards, where you never knew whom you could trust. Probably no one. Not even the boyfriend you were thinking could be your first lay.

“No, Paz, I don’t. Care to enlighten me?”

He closed the distance between us, his hand came to grab me by the back of my neck, his fingers entangling in my blue hair. He pulled slightly, and I winced, but didn’t fight him. I’d resisted him earlier when he’d taken me by the hand, but I couldn’t do it again. He was in a position of power and I… I liked it. I’m messed up in the head.

“Because it was the only way to get your attention,” he hissed in my face, his lips so close to mine that if I rose on my tiptoes, we could have kissed. “Didn’t you hear me the first time? Didn’t you hear what I told you after Mabon? What I wanted to tell you, but you stopped me? I…”

“No!” I knew what he was about to say. Or, maybe I didn’t. Whatever it was, it was better not to hear it. Just like it was better for GC not to ask Lorna if she’d pulled a prank or not. It was easier not to know. Not yet. Not until I decided what I was going to do with the information if it proved to be exactly what I thought it was. “Stop this. You have to stop it. Date Patty if you like her and you’re happy together. But if it’s all fake, if it’s just a game to you, then leave her alone. She doesn’t deserve this shit.”

“Oh, look at you, all fair and noble. Maybe you did land in the wrong Cabal, after all. Your name says Merciful, your attitude says Righteous.” He leaned in, and I could feel his delicious breath on my face. “You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?”

---