Page 47 of Sweet as Sin (Bad Habit 1)
“No problem,” said the other officer. He was shorter, but no less broad in the chest, or intimidating, than his associate. “First time dealing with the paps can be scary, we know.”
Grace pounced on that like a cat on a mouse. “How do you know it’s the first time?”
Blond Cop provided the answer, smiling knowingly. “Your friend gave us a call.”
Nico had the cops on speed dial? In my mind, he was beginning to take on the stature of Superman. Chloe, Grace, and I shared a dazed look.
“If you don’t do anything interesting, they’ll leave on their own after a while. In the meantime, we’ll make sure they stay off the lawn and on the other side of the street. We know most of these guys. The TMZ crew is pretty harmless; it’s the independents you have to watch out for. They can get a little aggressive.”
I knew they were aggressive, but hearing a policeman describe them that way was on a different level, considering cops dealt with the worst of the worst of humanity in their jobs. I felt more and more sick. “They can just stand across the street, watching me? For how long?”
The officer didn’t answer directly. Most likely he could sense my pending mental breakdown.
“There are loitering laws, but honestly it’s best just to ignore them. Like I said, unless you do something interesting, they’ll be on to the next thing pretty quick.” He handed me a business card. “If you feel threatened, this is the number to the station. Officer Cox and I,” he nodded at Blond Cop, “patrol this area and can usually be here within fifteen minutes.”
“What if you’re not on duty?” Chloe was wringing her hands in worry. Officer Cox looked at her as if he’d like to give her a hug. Or something stronger.
“Don’t worry. We’ve got you covered.”
I felt a little better. Then I wondered if I needed to have Chloe move in with me so Officer Cox would respond just as quickly to my next distress call. Because I assumed there would be a next distress call; it wasn’t as if I was going to stop seeing Nico because of those paparazzi fuckers.
I realized he’d be arriving soon . . . and I probably looked like something the cat had coughed up.
“Thank you, guys. So much. Just having you here makes me feel better.” Now please leave so I can take a shower and scrape the moss off my teeth before Superman flies in and mistakes me for a cave troll.
Officer Cox and his friend nodded at me and turned to go. After a few steps, Officer Cox turned back. He held out his own card to Chloe. “Just in case.”
Biting her lip, she took the card. They stared at one another a beat. “Right. You never know. Emergencies and all.”
He nodded. So did Chloe. It seemed as if something had been decided. He walked away, black baton swinging phallically at his hip, his swagger that of a man who’d just bagged an elephant.
Chloe couldn’t take her eyes from him.
Well, I thought cheerfully, so long, Miles! Silver linings, etcetera. The three of us retreated inside, and I closed the door. Now seemed a good time to finish my drink.
“Did that just happen?” Chloe seemed a bit stunned.
“What? Your love connection with the LAPD?” Grace chuckled. “Yes, sweetie, I think it did.”
“He was hot, right? And did you see the size of his gun?”
I wasn’t going to touch that one.
Grace said, “I’m sure you two will make beautiful blond babies and live happily ever after as Mr. and Mrs. Cox, a name designed solely to amuse people like me. Now can we please discuss how we’re going to get out of here without those vultures outside following us home?”
Oh. I hadn’t considered that. At some point, Grace and Chloe had to leave.
“I need a shower in order to think. Just give me—”
From outside came the unmistakable screech of a vehicle braking hard. When we looked out the window, I corrected myself: two vehicles. With no regard for the fact that it was a two-way street, a pair of black Escalades with limo tint had parked opposite the police cars, blocking traffic. Their driver doors flew open. Out popped Barney and Nico, both of them looking like they were about to commit murder.
At the sight of Nico, the paparazzi went into a feeding frenzy that would have made a school of piranha proud.
“Uh-oh.”
“Bit of an understatement, Chloe, but accurate, nonetheless.” Grace sent me a sympathetic look. “This should be fun.”
“Oh, God. What’s he doing?” Turning away to pace in the living room because I couldn’t bear to watch, I began to chew my thumbnail.
