Page 55 of Make Me Sin (Bad Habit 2)
“I’m sorry,” I say to A.J. without looking at him.
“Not your fault. Love makes people do crazy things.”
I meet his gaze. “I’ve never seen him this way. I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”
A.J. says
softly, “He loves you, Chloe. He’s actually showing remarkable restraint. If you were mine, I would’ve burned down the entire city by now to get you back.”
That takes my breath away. I look away, swallowing. “How do you know he loves me?”
“Princess. How could he not?”
His voice is so tender it makes tears well in my eyes. I can’t look at him. Instead I watch Nico and Eric through the windows, standing outside on the sidewalk together, talking. Nico looks over Eric’s shoulder, and catches my eye.
I see understanding on his face. Eric’s telling him everything. His gaze moves to A.J., and I have to close my eyes to block out the new emotion that crosses Nico’s face: fear.
Nico knows A.J. better than anyone does. And if he’s afraid for me, then I should be afraid for myself.
I feel my heart break, just a little.
“So if you were me, what would you do, A.J.?”
Silence.
“Because I’m having a really hard time deciphering this new puzzle that’s my life. It doesn’t make any sense to me. I’m pretty much at a loss.”
“Is he a good man?”
I open my eyes, and look at A.J. “I thought so. Before all this—”
“No. You know. Is he a good man? Overall. No one’s perfect, but you know him. Deep down, do you think he’s good?”
I whisper, “Yes.”
He slowly nods. “Then my answer is, you should marry him, and live your life.”
A knife twists in my heart. I hate it that my voice breaks when I speak. “Really? You think it’s okay to marry someone when you have feelings for someone else?”
A.J.’s eyes flash. His nostrils flare. He shakes his head, silently, and I don’t know if he’s saying yes or no, or just telling me not to be such an idiot.
Because I am. I so am. I’m standing here with a man who’s told me I make him want to die, and that I should go and marry Eric, and all I can think of is how badly I want him to put his arms around me, pull me against his chest, and kiss me.
A lone tear crests my lower lid and snakes down my cheek. With anguished eyes, A.J. watches it fall.
I whisper, “I’m not waiting up for you tonight. I won’t be watching from the window.”
A.J. nods, resigned.
“But the door will be unlocked.”
His brows pull together. He says hoarsely, “Chloe—”
“If you don’t come, that’s the end of it. I can’t do this anymore. If you don’t come I’m moving on with my life, and we’ll never speak of any of this again.”
Before he can reply, I turn and run to the other room, grab my purse, say good-bye to Kenji and the girls, and flee.
It’s midnight. I’m lying in bed, wide awake, staring at the same crack in the ceiling I’ve been staring at for the past three hours.
