Page 57 of Make Me Sin (Bad Habit 2)
A.J. is quiet, listening. I feel the energy thrumming through him, the electricity sparking from his skin.
I gather my courage an
d whisper, “But I’ve never felt safer than I do right now.”
He turns his face to my shoulder. His cheek burns against my skin. His voice comes low and hoarse. “I can’t be what you need. I’m not the man for you. We both know that.”
That’s not what I want to hear. It’s so far from what I want to hear, I childishly put my hands over my ears and shake my head.
He pries my hands off my ears. “Yes, Chloe.”
“Then what are we doing, A.J.? What is this? Why are you here?”
His answer bursts out of him. “Because I’m fucking weak! I can’t stay away from you! No matter what I do, you’re there, in my head, smiling that heartbreaker smile! I can’t stay away.” His voice cracks, and it sounds as if he might cry. “And I’m so tired of trying.”
He’s trembling. His entire body is wracked with tremors, little earthquakes that shake me in his arms. He makes a desperate noise, like he’s tearing apart, and I act on pure instinct.
I turn over and wrap my arms around his neck. He buries his face into my shoulder, shuddering, holding on to me as if for dear life.
I whisper, “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. It won’t end well. I’ll hurt you.”
“Only if you want to.”
His laugh is ugly, choked. “That’s the thing, Princess. I don’t want to. But I will.”
I smooth the hair off his face, force him to meet my eyes. His are filled with water.
“Okay.”
He stops breathing. His eyes get wide. “What?”
“I said okay. So be it. If all I get is this, right now, tonight, and tomorrow you change your mind and never want to see me again, then okay. I’ll take it. I’ll take the one night.”
He just stares at me. I’ve never seen an expression like his. It’s one of horror and elation and disbelief, all at once.
“Um . . . that was your cue to ravish me, A.J. Let the ravishment begin.”
He rears up on his elbows and pushes me to my back. He gives me his weight, pressing the full length of his hard—and very aroused—body against mine. He hovers above me, his hair falling down on either side of our heads so we’re in a private little world, just our two curtained faces, our breath and beating hearts.
“You don’t mean it.”
“I do.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Yes, I do.”
“You’ll change your mind in the morning. You’ll regret it.”
“I won’t regret anything.”
“What happened to ‘I only have sex in a context of caring and love’?”
Very softly, I answer, “Nothing.”
He understands without me having to provide more. His eyes devour my face. He whispers, “Goddamn you.”
