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Matteo leaps up and looks down. “Oh shit.”

“Yeah,” I say, beaming, watching the room spin around his beautiful head. “You should probably kiss me before I pass out.”

He obliges, taking my face in his hands and pressing his lips against mine. He whispers, “Ti amo, bella. Ti amerò per sempre.”

“Right back atcha, hot stuff. I love you forever, too.”

Hey, I think I’m learning Italian!

I sink into unconsciousness with a body covered in plaster, a heart bursting with happiness, and a huge grin on my face.

EPILOGUE

ONE YEAR LATER

No matter how plump, plain, or poor a man is, the right tuxedo can make him look more dashing than any fairy-tale prince.

Right about now, I’m thinking Prince Charming can kiss Jenner’s dashing ass.

Not that he’s any of those other P words, but the general idea stands.

He steps out from behind the dressing room door in a fantastic midnight-blue silk tux that took me two months to make, and spins in a circle, waiting for my reaction. He’s immaculate, the picture of perfection, right down to his gleaming patent leather DiSanto loafers.

I’ve recently expanded into menswear. You wouldn’t believe the profit margin in men’s shoes.

“Winston Churchill’s hairy balls!” I shout, leaping from the divan I’ve been sitting on as I’ve waited for him to get ready.

Jenner shakes his head, chuckling. “You’re always stealing my best lines.”

“I’ve been saving that one for a special occasion. Today seemed particularly apropos.”

He smiles and holds out his arms. “Come give us a hug.”

I cross the short distance between us and nestle into his arms, resting my head on his shoulder, being careful not to smudge my makeup on his jacket. We stand in silence for a long moment until he gives me a light squeeze and pulls away.

“Isn’t it strange?” he murmurs, toying with the lace on one of the cap sleeves of my dress.

“What?”

He meets my eyes, and I’m surprised to find his misty. “Life. I never would’ve thought in a million years I’d be here, now, getting ready to walk down the aisle toward the man of my dreams to take vows that aren’t recognized by the legal system of this country. If you’d told me a year ago any of it would be happening, I’d have laughed you out of the room.”

“You would have scorned me out of the room, with withering disdain that would’ve left permanent scars.”

He brightens, as if I’ve paid him a great compliment. “Yes, I would have. But here we are.”

“Here we are.” I smile at him, tapping his chest. “Who knew you had a real heart hidden away under all that tin?”

“Tundra,” he corrects sourly. “And don’t get cheeky with me, darling. It’s my wedding day.”

“I’ll get as cheeky as I want, my friend, considering if I’d never broken three-quarters of the bones in my limbs, you’d never have met the man of your dreams.”

“True.” He fakes a groan. “But a nurse. I couldn’t even land a doctor?”

“The heart wants what it wants,” I tease, grinning at him.

“Indeed it does.” He swallows, blinking back tears. “Oh, Poppins. This is the happiest day of my life.” He pauses for a moment, then says forcefully, “If Toni stops the ceremony to announce he’s straight, I expect you to break his nose!”

I burst into laughter, and Jenner joins in. We both know Toni isn’t about to have a change of heart, on either his gender preference or his choice of partner. He’s been gaga over Jenner since they first locked eyes over my pathetic cast-covered body in the hospital a year ago. Jenner has been equally gaga over him.