He met Faith’s curious gaze, and he knew she was going to be hurt by what he said next. Gritting his teeth, he dove in. “I called Jack Renault, and he’s going to pick you up and escort you to work today. He’ll be on bodyguard duty, so you have nothing to worry about.”
He’d caught her, mug halfway to her mouth. She slowly lowered it and nodded. She met his gaze, to her credit, not looking away as he severed the routine they’d been in for the last few weeks with no explanation.
“Okay.” She straightened her shoulders, clearly holding back whatever she was feeling. “What time will he be here?”
“Thirty minutes.”
She nodded. “I’m going to finish getting ready.” She placed the mug into the sink, and without another word, she turned and walked away.
Jason exhaled, watching her go.
“What did you just do?” his mother asked in the tone he recognized as the chiding one from when he was a child.
He ran a hand over his face before answering. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t play dumb with me, Jason. I spent last night with Faith. I know you’ve been working from her shop, protecting her, making sure she’s safe. Now suddenly you’re sending her with a bodyguard? The poor girl looked blindsided.”
He swallowed back a curse. He probably could have handled it better. But when? He’d made the call to Renault while she showered, then fallen asleep on his side of the bed before she’d turned in for the night. He just needed a break and he took it. He left her in bed to shower and later met up with her in the kitchen.
“It’s for the best,” he told his mother. “We were getting too attached. It wasn’t a normal situation. The guys were getting annoyed that I wasn’t there. We’re close to opening a new version of the club. I need to be focused.”
She narrowed her gaze. “What did it?” she asked, lowering her voice. “Was it your father? Me? Almost losing Sienna? Or was it Levi that severed you emotionally?”
He reared back in shock. All this time he’d thought he’d kept his feelings to himself. Gone about his life. Lived it to the fullest. He never showed anyone his weakness, and yet here was his mother, nailing it in one breath.
“All of it maybe?” he said, uncharacteristically allowing himself to have this conversation.
“Jason, I can see how deeply you care about this woman. She’s special. She’s intelligent, smart, can run a business, and she cares about you. Don’t lose her because you’re afraid.”
He shook his head. It went so much deeper than that. He didn’t deserve happiness when Levi was buried and he’d done nothing to stop it. This was a thought he rarely let himself have, but he allowed it now because he needed the reminder. With his mother pushing him toward Faith and Faith’s pull so strong, he had to prompt his memory. The thought of Levi would keep him strong when desire threatened to pull him into the light.
“I can’t, Mom. She deserves someone who can give her everything. And I’ve given up on having it all.” He deliberately glanced at the clock on the microwave. “We need to get going.”
Savannah Dare sighed. “One day you’re going to look back and realize that you alone destroyed any chance you had at happiness. A chance you deserved. And one Levi would want you to have and live for him.”
He shook his head and walked away.
* * *
Jack Renault was a large man, bulky and heavyset, wearing a blazer beneath his winter jacket. Faith felt safe with him but not as safe as she’d been knowing Jason was nearby. She wasn’t stupid. She knew their arrangement couldn’t last. Not when he had an important business to run that had opposite hours of her own, but she’d enjoyed the time she had with him.
And if she’d given it thought, she’d have assumed they’d have an adult conversation before he up and hired a bodyguard and went back to his normal routine. Instead he’d waited until he’d slept with her and then run scared. She had no doubt that’s what had occurred, either.
After an incredible night where he’d opened up emotionally, after they’d given themselves to each other in intimate ways she’d never have imagined, he’d slipped out of bed before her and she’d woken up alone. She had no doubt it had been deliberate. Then his mother had arrived and they’d had no time alone to rehash or discuss, and she honestly thought Jason was relieved. Now she had a bodyguard and Jason’s distance spoke volumes.
Well, it wasn’t like she had nothing to do. Although it had only been this past weekend that she’d provided the treats for Izzy’s son’s birthday, three of her friends had contacted her via email already.