(Is it politically correct to say queer?)
 
 I look out at you all, family now and past,
 
 and I really
 
 have to wonder;
 
 how many of you find it crass
 
 that the meat industry is such a blunder?
 
 [Note the Kid wrote in the margins: “Hold for applause.”]
 
 That’s right! You’ve seen the numerous reports
 
 that show this horrific and senseless atrocity!
 
 Why, if those people ever came to my house with a weak retort, I’d be waiting with a shotgun on the lawn of the Green Monstrosity!
 
 By now, I’m sure, Bear’s giving me the eye
 
 and probably trying to signal for me to wrap it up; so I’ll agree to let this awkward moment die
 
 if he just buys me that golden retriever pup.
 
 [Note the Kid wrote in the margins: “Pause and give Bear that look he always falls for. Oh, and name the puppy Minerva Fox.”]
 
 Bear and Otter were meant to be,
 
 Even if I was the only one that knew it.
 
 You should thank God, Bear, that you had me,
 
 Or else you would have choked and blew it.
 
 So now they’re here in front of all of us
 
 Ready to show how they love each other.
 
 And to have us here is to show they trust
 
 those that would call them friend, son, and brother.
 
 [Note the Kid wrote in the margins: “DO NOT CRY!!! YOU’RE
 
 ALMOST DONE!! MAN UP, MCKENNA!!!!!”]
 
 But there is one person here who we can’t see
 
 and it was she who helped bring us to life.
 
 I love you with everything I have, Mrs. P.
 
 May you be in a place that knows no strife.
 
 She would have said that family is all a person needs and it wouldn’t matter if they’re near or far.
 
 All that matters is the lesson we must heed: