“Are you always this difficult?”
“Yes. Yes, I am. Reconsidering yet?”
“Not even a little bit,” he said. “I’m in this for the long haul.”
I closed my eyes and made sure my breathing was even. “For reasons you won’t tell me.”
“It’s a rule,” he taunted me. “You started them, after all.”
“New rule,” I said. “Shut up.”
“You’re the epitome of maturity.”
“At least I have hair on my balls, unlike your usual conquests.”
“Really,” he said. “You think you’re my conquest? Huh. I didn’t know—”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Right. Of course it wasn’t. But now I know you’ve got a bush.”
“I don’t have a bush. I am waxed and manscaped by a professional once a month. Mai Ling does a phenomenal job and I leave satisfied.” And I really wish I hadn’t said all that.
“Seriously?”
“Uh, yeah. Obviously. I am a classy broad, you know.”
“Sure. The classy broad talking about the hair on his balls.”
“You started it!”
He laughed. “I don’t think that I did. I just called you to tell you some news.”
“Bad news,” I reminded him.
“No. I didn’t say it was bad news. I said I did something bad. It’s not necessarily bad news. Well. Depending on how you look at it.”
“That’s not making me feel any better.”
“Because I live to make you feel better,” he said, voice as dry as I’d ever heard it.
I couldn’t stop the laugh even if I wanted to. “You’re not supposed to be funny,” I scolded him. “You’re a homo jock. You’re supposed to work out and fuck twinks and then go drink kale smoothies or something.”
“Because that’s exactly all I do with my time,” Darren said. “God, it’s like you know my innermost secrets and wildest dreams.”
“Don’t lie,” I said. “You don’t have those.”
“I do too. I have so many secrets that you wouldn’t even believe. I’m mysterious.”
“Yeah, not even remotely mysterious.”
“You just want to know my secrets.”
I rolled my eyes. “I have so many better things to worry about.”
“I don’t believe you.”
Was this flirting? I thought this was flirting. I didn’t know if I liked that. “Okay, then tell me.”
