Darren: We have plenty to talk about
Me: We do not
Darren: Sandy, don’t be difficult
“Difficult?” I muttered. “I’ll show you difficult, you motherfucker.”
“Did you say something?” Corey asked.
“Just talking to myself.”
“About?”
“Feminism.”
“Ah,” Corey said. “Because you’re the consummate feminist, after all.”
“Exactly.”
“Who are you texting?”
“I’m not. I’m ironing.”
“Your phone is literally in your hand right now.”
“Fine. Feminist friends.”
“So. Darren, then.”
“I have no idea what you mean. Watch your renovation porn.”
Me: I’m not difficult. I just don’t know what we possibly have to discuss
Darren: Humor me
Me: That doesn’t sound like something I’d do
Darren: Sandy
Me: Darren
Darren: You’re so fucking annoying
Me: Yeah, that’ll get me to do what you want
Darren: Look, I’ll just see you before your show. We’ll talk then
Me: What. Darren. No
Darren: Good night, Sandy ;)
Me: DARREN. WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME WINKIE FACE
Me: DARREN! GODDAMMIT
“That fucking bitch-ass whore,” I snarled at my phone.
“Feminist friends?” Corey asked.
