Page 126 of Into This River I Drown
hand to his face and inhales the scent. It hurts my heart to see, though I can’t say
why.
“I was not the first angel,” he says as he rubs the pitch against his slacks, “but I
was one of the Firsts. Do you understand?”
“Yeah. I think so. Metatron was first, right?”
Michael stops and squats on his heels, rubbing his fingers along the grass. “Yes.
I must admit to being surprised that you know that name.”
“Cal mentioned it once. Said no one had seen him for a long time.” “Longer than you could possibly imagine,” Michael says, picking a pinecone off
the ground and rolling it in his hands. “But that is beside the point. When I was much
younger than I am now, I felt I had to compete with my brothers for my Father’s
affections. I was one of the Firsts, which meant I had brothers to compete with, or so
I thought. Things were much different then. We were young. Cocky. We thought we
could do it all, or at least my brothers and I did. Father was strict in his rules, and we
acted out as much as possible, specifically because a time came when it appeared he
loved his humans more than he loved us. That was not the case, of course, but we
were his sons and we worshipped the ground he walked on, so it was easy to get
jealous. Metatron above everyone else, though. There’s something about being the
actual first. In essence, he was the only because he was the first. Gabriel, David,
Raphael, and I couldn’t help but feel inferior to Metatron, who seemed to have
Fat
her’s favor above the rest of ours, seemed to have his ear more than the rest of us.
But then Metatron was gone.”
“Where did he go?” I can’t help but ask. I am unsure what this has to do with
me, but it seems important that I listen. “Did he fall?”
“It would seem so,” Michael says as he stands. “No one really knows for sure
how or why, and Father would not say. If I had to guess, I would say he was cast
out.”
I feel cold. “Is that what happened to Cal?” I whisper.
Michael looks at me sharply. “No. And please don’t misinterpret what I am
saying as that. No, Calliel is… something else entirely. He is no longer part of a
