Page 102 of Muse (Fighting Fate)

She looked nervous, but thankfully she nodded.

Moving to the far side of her bed, I pulled the visitor’s chair closer and sat down. It was so fucking hard not to reach out to her and take her hand. I wanted to so fucking much. I felt my jaw clench and my brow crease with the effort it was taking to hold myself back.

“I know you said you didn’t want to see me, but I just couldn’t...” I swallowed hard. This was so much harder than I thought it’d be. “Do you really not remember anything?”

Her eyes were filled with so much sadness. I was sure mine looked exactly the same. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

I exhaled, looking down at my hands. “It’s okay. I don’t want to upset you. I don’t really know what to say. I guess I just needed to see for myself...”

I forced myself to look back at her, to look into her eyes so I could see the truth for myself, but when I was met with eyes that only showed fear and uncertainty, I wished I hadn’t. After weeks of only seeing excitement, happiness, and desire in those same eyes, the truth almost brought me to my knees. It was fucking killing me.

“It just doesn’t make any sense, Jace.” Her voice was soft, full of confusion. “I mean, we hardly ever saw each other, let alone talked to each other. How could we possibly end up together?”

I gave her a sad smile. “I know. It was definitely unexpected.”

I watched her swallow, nervous fingers fidgeting with her sheet. “Kaeli says we’ve slept together.” Her voice was so quiet, I almost couldn’t hear her. I didn’t miss the stress I heard in it though. I gave her a worried look. “Aiden said you only told him last week that you liked me. How were we sleeping together?”

I looked at the tears filling her eyes, knowing I promised Aiden I wouldn’t upset her. “You didn’t want anyone to know we were seeing each other. Aiden asked me if I liked you after he saw us talking in the hall.”

“So how long had we been seeing each other for?”

I wasn’t sure how far I should go with this. I knew it would be easy to misconstrue. “Do you remember going to Aspen?”

She frowned. “I...maybe...I remember the cabin...and Aiden was there...”

“Do you remember the avalanche?”

Her eyes widened and I instantly knew she didn’t. “No.”

“You decided to stay at the cabin while everyone else went out. I had to go back to drop the car back, and while I was there, there was an avalanche, cutting the roads so the others couldn’t get back, and we couldn’t get out.” I looked at her hesitantly, still not sure. “We spent the night together then.”

The second I was met with her horrified expression, I knew I should’ve kept my mouth shut.

Fuck.

Chapter 50

Mia

My mouth hung open in shock.

We’d slept together just like that?! I was mortified. How could he have taken advantage of me like that? How could I have let him? I glared at him, unable to speak, then suddenly, I was angry. Very angry. At what, I wasn’t quite sure. A little at Jace for taking advantage of me, and a lot at myself for allowing it. I was no better than a slut. The realization was devastating.

“It wasn’t like that, Mia,” Jace said pleadingly. “Please don’t think it was meaningless and cheap. You told me it was all you could handle out of a relationship.”

His words only make it worse. It was my choice? I was the one who decided to start a relationship based on sex? Well, that explained the need to get contraception. My self-image plummeted.

“You need to go, Jace,” I said quietly.

“Mia, please...”

“I can’t do this right now, Jace. I need you to go.” My voice was strong and hateful. It wasn’t directed at him, just myself, and I knew he didn’t know that, but I didn’t have what was needed to explain that just then.

“Don’t do this,” he whispered.

“Get out,” I said. I was three seconds from falling apart, and I needed him gone.

I held his gaze, not backing down. The pain and panic I saw in his eyes almost had me wishing I could reach for him, but I didn’t know him. Not like he wanted me to.

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