Page 105 of Muse (Fighting Fate)

I went about fixing the coffees in silence, the memories and the pain growing with each passing second until I couldn’t handle it any more. Placing my palms on the edge of the bench, I stretched my arms out straight and hung my head.

I heard Aiden sigh. “I take it it didn’t go well?”

I lifted my head and met his gaze for a split second before shaking my head.

“Yeah, I figured as much. Mia’s refusing to see anyone.”

I pushed myself up and ran my hands over my face and head. “I don’t know how to deal with this. I mean, I know I have to give her time, but it’s driving me fucking crazy.” I stalked to the other side of the kitchen and exhaled heavily. “Jesus, if it was normal relationship drama, I might have half a fucking chance, but this…how am I supposed to deal with this? She doesn’t even remember me being anything other than your douchebag best friend.”

“Hey, as far as I’m concerned, you’re still my douchebag best friend.”

I sighed. I knew he was only trying to make me feel better, but the only thing that could do that at this point in time was if Mia walked back into my arms.

“She’s going home this afternoon,” he said quietly.

I closed my eyes. I just wanted things to go back to how they were before Mo

nday. Back to when the only thing we had to worry about was me going on tour. Back to when she was beneath me and I was inside her and we both knew what we were feeling was love.

I should’ve told her I loved her back in the hospital.

“Fuck.”

Aiden stood and took a step towards me. “You need to calm down man.”

I growled. “Easy for you to say.”

He sighed. “Look, you need a distraction. Constantly thinking about it isn’t going to help. Why don’t we jam or something…play Ruby something fun…?”

When I thought of playing music I thought of Mia, so that wasn’t going to fucking work. “Only if you want to make me even more depressed than I already am...”

His eyes narrowed as he thought. “We could go beat the fuck out of some Grunge Guys…”

Now that sparked my interest. I could almost taste how good that would feel. “Man, I would fucking love to do that, but I don’t feel like spending the next ten years in jail.”

Aiden leant back against the bench. “I’d fucking love it too. Little fuckers deserve to have the shit beat of them.”

“And Melissa. She better not come anywhere fucking near me, I swear…”

“I don’t think you need to worry too much about that. From what I hear she’s been expelled and is facing charges over what she did. Mia wasn’t the only one who was hurt that day, and there’re a lot of angry parents calling out for blood.”

“Yeah well she won’t be getting any sympathy from me.”

Aiden pressed his lips together. “Mia doesn’t know. Mom says it’ll be too much for her, especially while she can’t remember anything. She won’t understand how it all came to that.”

No. Lillian was right. “Yeah, without remembering everything leading up to that, I think it’d scare her to think someone could be out for her like that.”

Silence fell between us for a few moments before Aiden sagged further against the wall.

“Fuck.” He rubbed his hands over his face. “I thought I was worried about her before, but this is so much worse. At least before it was her choice. She was aware of what she was doing and could prepare herself for any repercussions, but this…this is the old Mia meeting a situation she has no chance of mentally grasping.”

I hadn’t thought about that. I was such a dick. I’d been so consumed with my own feelings of hurt and despair, I hadn’t even thought for one minute how it could be affecting Mia. I was such a fucking selfish prick. What kind of fucked up boyfriend was I? I didn’t even fucking deserve her.

Turning around, I punched right through the drywall.

“Fuck, dude stop!” Aiden called.

I thumped my forehead against the wall and kept it there, breathing hard.

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