Page 107 of Muse (Fighting Fate)

The feeling confused me. I didn’t understand what that meant. It didn’t match up to what I’d decided was the truth. And that scared me.

Both Mom and Aiden tried to talk to me numerous times, but I just couldn’t. There was no way I was admitting to either of them what I’d done with Jace. Even the thought of talking to Kaeli about it had me flushing with shame.

The only thing I could think to do about it, was make sure I stayed away from Jace. Far away as possible. Until I could make even a little bit of sense about it, it was the only thing I could think to do.

“You okay?”

I looked up to see Aiden standing in the doorway. Inhaling slowly, I narrowed my eyes in an uncertain kind of way.

He came towards me slowly and sat down on the end of my bed. “What’s going on?”

I pursed my lips as I thought and gazed down at the carpet. “I don’t know. I just feel…off…”

Concern instantly spread over his face. “Does your head hurt?”

I frowned, and dropped my gaze again. “No, it’s not that. I don’t feel off…physically…” Sighing, I looked up to meet his gaze. “I just feel kind of lost. Like I’m missing something. I don’t know. It’s weird. You know how when you know you’re forgetting something and it makes you feel sick? It’s like that – like I’ve forgotten something really important.”

Something flashed in his eyes. It was gone too quickly for me to decipher, but I thought maybe it looked like hope. “Do you have any idea what that might be?”

I studied him while I thought. I remembered the way he’d spoken about Jace in the hospital. About the way Jace had been hurting. If that had been hope flashing in his eyes, and it was Jace he was hopeful about, then that could only mean one thing.

He wanted us to be together.

That thought shocked me more than surprised me. Aiden knew just how much of a slut Jace was. Why would he want us to be together? I wanted to ask him, but I just didn’t know if what I would hear would be the truth, or if it would be what Aiden perceived as the truth.

“I’m trying not to think about it. The doctor said the best way to get my memories back was to not force it. I’m not even allowed to use my phone. Apparently looking at a backlit screen is bad for my brain or something…”

He scratched his chin while he watched me. “I think that’s great advice, but I also think you shouldn’t be making decisions about the things you can’t remember until you either do remember, or at least understand them.”

He knew I knew what he was talking about. “I think I understand enough…”

“Baby girl, you think you do, but I’m one hundred percent sure you don’t.”

I looked up at him with surprise. He sounded so confident. Did he know something I didn’t?

“Just…don’t make assumptions, okay? Keep your mind open. And relax like the good ol’ doc said. Life’s good, baby girl. You have a rock star brother!”

I laughed then. Yeah, looking at it that way, life was pretty good. I was happy for him. Happy for the whole band. I had to trust everything would work out for the best.

***

By Saturday afternoon, I’d had enough of someone watching my every move. If it wasn’t Mom, it was Aiden. Constantly. Watching. It was like they were frightened I was going to keel over any moment. It was either that, or they were waiting for me to simply flip the

hell out. All I knew was that it was really starting to piss me off.

Standing in the kitchen with the both of them flittering about me, making sure my every need was taken care of, I snapped. “Okay, enough!”

They both stopped what they were doing and stared at me. All I could see in their expressions was confusion, and that annoyed me even more.

“You both need to stop. I can’t take much more. I’m fine, okay? I may not be able to remember some things, but I’m fine. Having you both constantly swarming over me is suffocating. Give me some god damned space! Aiden, I’m sure there’s probably a party you could go to, and Mom, what about your usual Saturday night cooking thing?”

Aiden just pressed his lips together, eyes narrowed, and Mom just stood there, opening and closing her mouth like she was trying to work out what to say. “I thought it’d be best if I stayed home tonight,” she said. “Just in case…”

“No.” I didn’t give her room to argue. “I’m only going to say it one more time. I’m fine. The doctor told me that. You were there so you know it’s the truth. Go cook.” I swung my eyes to Aiden. “And you.” I watched a tiny smirk pull on the corners of his lips. “Go party or whatever it is you usually do on a Saturday night.”

They both looked at me defiantly.

Putting my hands on my hips, I narrowed my eyes dangerously. “I’m not taking no for an answer. I mean it. I’m not going to break.”

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