Page 12 of Muse (Fighting Fate)

“You want to tell me what the fuck’s gotten up your ass?”

Matt’s voice drew me out of the depths of my head. I looked over to see him smirking at me in amusement. We were half way along on our drive back to Sacramento, and I was enjoying the break from driving. Well, that was until he asked me what was up my ass. “What?”

“Don’t give me that shit. You’ve been all moody and brooding since yesterday. That’s Dean’s gig, not yours.”

Dean grunted from the back seat. “Fuck off.”

I really wasn’t in the mood to have this conversation, but he was right. I had been in a funk. And it started right after my conversation in the kitchen with Mia.

I should’ve been relieved when she said it was only a one nighter. Real fucking relieved, but the truth was, I was pissed. And the fact that I was pissed just made me even more fucking annoyed because I had no idea why I was so fucking pissed.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

I repressed the urge to glare at him. “I’ve just got something stuck in my head, that’s all. Something new I’ve been working on.”

It wasn’t a lie. I actually did have a tune that kept invading my thoughts ever since Mia had hit me with a metaphorical baseball bat.

Matt’s eyebrows went up a notch. “A new song?”

Dean leant forward in his seat, suddenly interested. “Since when?”

I shrugged. It wasn’t like I’d actually put it to paper or anything. “I guess since I was hit by an avalanche.” Avalanche Mia.

“Cool. Play us some,” Dean said. “Babe, pass the acoustic.”

I turned to see Lila reaching over the back to grab Dean’s guitar. He fed it through to the front, so I pushed the chair back and turned sideways in my seat to make room. Somehow I knew what chords I needed without putting too much thought into it. It’d always been like that for me. I strummed it out slowly, making sure I had it right, then ran through it a little faster, making it sound more like how I had it in my head.

By the time I’d run through it for three verses, the chorus just came at me. It was an intense tune and I could almost hear the angst the lyrics would hold when sung with it. I almost laughed out loud when I thought it was just like an avalanche. Maybe that’s what I would call it. Avalanche. And it would be Mia’s song.

I went back to strumming the verse and looked up to see Dean with a shit eating grin. “That sounds fucking awesome, man. You need help with the lyrics?”

Dean had written most of our lyrics. He had a way of turning our direct and crass words into lyrical poems that had depth and meaning. I seriously doubted we would’ve made it if wasn’t for his lyrical talent. All our songs would’ve been about chicks on their knees, or bent over a table, or something just as crude.

This song though, this song was a little different. All the previous songs I’d written had been about living life and having fun without giving a fuck. This one felt like it had a little piece of me in it, and I didn’t want to share that with anyone. I just wanted it to be my own.

“Nah, I want to give this one a go myself. This one kind of matters to me.”

“Awesome, man,” Matt said. “I can’t wait to slam it out with you. I can almost hear the beat that would tank that shit.”

I grinned. No doubt he could. Matt was a fucking magician with his kit.

I played tunes for the next hour, until we pulled over in Reno for gas. Aiden pulled in behind us, and I couldn’t help watching Mia as she stretched beside the car. My dick instantly twitched. The memory of her soft little body and how it felt underneath me was still as vivid as if it only happened an hour ago.

I decided to take the opportunity to go to the bathroom before I embarrassed myself. I had no idea why this thing with Mia was messing with my head, but I decided to put it down to guilt. Guilt for sleeping with my best friend’s sister, and guilt for taking her innocence. That’s all it was, and there was nothing I could do to change it, so I just needed to man up and get the fuck over it. If Mia could be okay with it then I sure as shit could be too.

Everyone was gathered by Aiden’s car when I managed to stride back. For some reason I felt self-conscious, like I was an open book and everyone just knew what I was thinking. I shoved my hands deep in my pockets and lowered my head a little.

“Dean tells me you’ve got some new material,” Aiden said as I walked up.

I nodded, not really wanting to talk about it.

“Cool. We’re going to chill at Dean’s when we get back, so maybe we can play around with it a bit.”

“Yeah, sure.”

We quickly filled up and got back on the road. It was Dean’s turn to drive the next stretch, so Matt and I jumped in the back and reclined the seats, trying to grab some shut eye for the remaining two hours of the trip.

It was almost ten by the time we pulled up at Dean’s. You would think after fifteen hours in

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