Page 39 of Muse (Fighting Fate)

When the doorbell rang just after six o’clock, I’d just finished doing a work out and was contemplating having a shower. I jogged to the door, knowing it would be someone for Aiden. It always was. I just hoped it wasn’t any of his groupies. Ewww.

Opening the door hesitantly, I peered out the crack. When I saw Jace standing there with his hands in his pockets, I froze.

He gave me one of his cute crooked smiles and shrugged. “Hi.”

I took a deep breath. Jace was the last person I’d expected to see. Being alone with him was definitely not a good idea. My ability to control myself when I was around him was practically non-existent.

“Uh…Aiden’s not home,” I said, hoping to avert my soon to be crisis.

&nbs

p; The smile disappeared. “I know. He’s at a party with Matt and Dean.”

Okay, now I was just confused. If he knew where Aiden was then why was he here?

“He said your mom was at a cooking class, so I was hoping I could talk to you.”

He wanted to talk to me? But why? I blinked. Oh Crap. Not good.

“So…can I come in?”

Slowly, I stepped back and opened the door for him. Without another word, I turned and walked back to my room. I had no idea what I was doing. I think I was panicking, but not in the way I was used to. This was more like from nerves and hormones.

I went straight to my stereo and turned down the volume so it was only just audible. When I turned back to the door, Jace was standing just inside my room. He had this tiny little smile on his lips that made me all jittery inside. “You like Rihanna?”

I inhaled and exhaled like I did for yoga. “Sure.”

He stood there like that for a little while, looking at me like he was trying to figure something out.

“Why are you here, Jace?” I asked softly.

He inhaled slowly and tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans again. He looked nervous. Oh no. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to deal with whatever he was here for. I walked over to the bed and climbed into the middle, crossing my legs and hugging my pillow.

Jace cautiously moved towards me and sat, but just on the edge. He looked so serious now. He sighed. “I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about this all weekend and it’s driving me fucking crazy. I guess, first I just wanted you to know the truth.”

He paused and looked at me, contemplating. For some reason I was holding my breath. The truth about what?

“I never had sex with Kacey or Violet. I actually haven’t slept with anyone but you since Aspen.”

I stared at him. That was not what I was expecting him to say. My mind raced, trying to process his words. He didn’t sleep with either of them? He hadn’t slept with anyone but me since our first time? Holy shit. “Why didn’t you tell me before?” I whispered.

He sighed again, heavily, then ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. The whole thing with Kacey and Violet weirded me out, I mean, it’s backwards. What kind of girl spreads rumors that she slept with a guy? Isn’t that what the guy’s supposed to do?”

I had to agree. Why would they want to look like sluts? But then again, the guys were on their way to stardom. They probably thought it’d make a good story later. “You could’ve denied it.”

He pursed his lips. “I probably could’ve. I wanted to for you, but…” He frowned and looked down at his hands. “I wasn’t expecting your reaction. Mainly because I didn’t actually do anything with those girls, but also because it made me realize, whether you know it or not, you’re looking for a proper relationship – but without anyone knowing.”

He looked back up into my eyes, and as his words sunk in, I felt all the air leave my lungs. Of course, I’d figured out what he was saying on my own, but hearing him say it out loud like that just cemented it for me. He was right.

“Realizing that kind of surprised me, and I wasn’t sure what to do with it,” he admitted.

I blinked at him. I knew I wanted him, and I knew I wanted him just for myself. I think secretly I did want everyone to know. I just didn’t want the attention that would come from it. And that, basically, was the root of the problem.

“There’s still so much I don’t know about you, Mia. I mean, I know you find being around a lot of people hard, and that’s probably the reason why you haven’t ever dated – so, I’m guessing that even though you’re sub-consciously looking for a real commitment, you’re probably not ready for one, and that’s the part I’m struggling with.”

Yep. He hit the nail on the head. I stared down at my duvet, not able to meet his eyes while I dealt with the truth in his words.

“I really like being with you Mia – and not just for sex.”

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