Page 72 of Muse (Fighting Fate)

She came to sit at the end of the bed so she was face to face with me and waited while I worked up the courage to say what I wanted.

“Jace and I are dating,” I blurted.

The surprise on her face was more than obvious. “Oh...wow...okay. That was not what I was expecting,” she said, blinking a few times. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised after the way you both seemed so comfortable with each other the other day. When did this happen?”

I fiddled with my hands, twisting my fingers together, still way nervous. It was important Mom be okay with me being with Jace. “Well...I suppose we first realised there was something there in Aspen. Jace was really great after the avalanche. He looked after me – made me feel safe, you know? But I guess we’ve only been really seeing each other for a couple of weeks.”

She nodded. I could tell she was trying to look at it from an objective point of view – let it sink in. I decided to keep going while she thought about it.

“I guess I haven’t been very fair on him. I haven’t let him tell anyone we’re together. I just knew it would be a big thing, you know? Obviously, the guys are all really popular right now, and he’s always got girls throwing themselves at him.” I sighed. “Just the thought of people staring and talking about us made me anxious, but over the last couple of weeks I’ve tried sitting with Jace and Aiden at lunch for a little bit each day, and it’s getting easier.” I smiled, and Mom smiled too, knowing just how big that was for me.

My bravado slipped though when I thought of that afternoon. “I had a panic attack this afternoon.”

Mom’s eyes widened. “Are you okay? What happened?”

I swallowed. “I forgot about the pep rally, and I got caught in the middle of the crowd as they left the gym. Scared the shit out of me”

“Oh, baby, are you sure you’re okay?”

I nodded and a tiny smile came to my lips when I thought of how it ended. “Jace found me. He held me and got me through it. Aiden was there too, talking to me – and Kaeli.”

“Oh, thank God.”

“Mom?” I said softly. “I really like him.”

She stared at me for a few heartbeats before smiling gently. “That much, huh?”

I nodded. “He makes me feel safe. I don’t care about the people when he’s with me. After this afternoon, Aiden knows that we like each other – and I guess most of the school does too, considering they all walked past while he was holding me, so it didn’t feel right for you not to know.”

“Thank you, baby. I love that you can tell me anything.”

I swallowed. “So, you’d be okay with Jace spending some time with me? Here?”

“Of course, baby.” Then, after a moment’s thought, she frowned. “Maybe not in your room though...”

I inhaled deeply, working my way up to say what I really wanted to say. “I get that. I do, but Mom – I want to go on the pill.”

Her eyes widened a fraction. “Sweetheart, I don’t want you to rush into anything...”

“I know, Mom, and I won’t. I just know what I feel for him, and I’d rather be prepared.”

She sighed. “I really want to tell you no, but I know that’d be stupid. You’re eighteen, and I guess in this day and age, I’m lucky it hasn’t happened sooner, but baby, sex isn’t just a physical act – well not for women anyway. For women, emotion will always be tied to sex. Yes, you’ll get the occasional girl who says she just likes it, but more often than not, having sex is linked directly to some emotion – whether it’s making her feel wanted, or loved, or sexy, there’s always some underlying factor. I just want you to be aware of the e

motions that can come from it, because you, my beautiful girl, have a lot of buried emotions inside you. Having sex with someone you love will bring all of it out, and while it would definitely make it a beautiful experience, it could very well overwhelm you.”

I sat staring at my mother, stunned. She had no idea how right she was, but I couldn’t exactly tell her that. I nodded, letting her know I understood.

“But, we’ll go to the doctors tomorrow anyway, because I agree with you about being prepared, and because I always knew that when you finally fell for someone, you’d fall hard.”

I reached over and gave her a hug. “Thanks, Mom. I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.”

I left her room, feeling happier than I remembered being for a very long time. I finally had a reason to get past my anxiety.

Kaeli and I spent the next hour getting ready for my first official night out. Mom helped me set my hair into more orderly curls and then went to work on my makeup, applying only the bare necessities that would apparently enhance my natural beauty. Whatever that meant.

When Mom left us to go get ready herself, I dug out my lacy, red strapless bra and panties, quickly showing Kaeli with a glint in my eyes before disappearing to put them on. When I came out, Kaeli was already dressed, wearing a black mini skirt with a vibrant blue satin top. She looked up as I walked in and clapped her hands with a grin.

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