Page 91 of Muse (Fighting Fate)

“You write another song?” Aiden asked quietly.

I met his gaze and held it, nodding slightly. “Yeah, last night. Couldn’t sleep.”

He nodded too. It seemed to be the best way to communicate when emotions had a grip on your throat.

“Do you want to hear it?” I wasn’t sure why I asked. I wasn’t sure why I wanted to share it. I thought it might be because if anyone could possibly understand what I was feeling, it would be him.

Surprise flickered in his eyes. Probably because I’d been holding the last song I’d written so close to my chest. “Yeah, I do.”

I swallowed. I knew if I did this, I would be sharing everything I felt for Mia with him. That was a hard thing to let go of. I’d only just shared my feelings with Mia four days ago. It was still so new.

Taking a breath, I adjusted my gaze to the window, fixating on the sky outside. I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it if I looked at him.

Strumming a few chords to gather some courage, I paused for a beat or two then began.

The first few notes rang out in the quietness of the room. They were soft and soothing, slow and haunting. The opening verse expressed the surprise and confusion I’d felt the first time I’d been with Mia in Aspen, then it gradually morphed, just like my feelings for her had, telling the story of how I grew to need her, to cherish her, and eventually, to love her.

The chorus spoke of her being my muse and my air, and how I didn’t need anything else but her. She was my angel and I wasn’t going to let her go.

The closing verse was the hardest. It was the now. It was all about my fear, my sorrow, the fact that I was holding my breath until she could give me one of hers. It was a declaration of love, a pledge to find her if she was lost, even though I was the one who actually needed saving.

It was hard to get through, and my voice told him just how much, but even I had to admit, it was beautiful. It was pure in all its glory, and it was the only way I knew how to express to her how much she meant to me.

She was my muse, so that’s what I was calling the song. Muse.

Letting the last note hang in the air, the song slowly came to an end. I was almost frightened to look back at Aiden. I felt completely transparent, my heart exposed and raw.

Taking a deep breath, I forced my gaze to where he was sitting. That was when I noticed the three figures standing in the doorway behind him. One by one I met the gazes of my mom, Lillian, and Mr. Thomas, and both Lillian and Mom had tears in their eyes.

Aiden turned to see what I was looking at before turning back to look at me. He gazed at me silently for a little while, then without a word, he pushed to his feet and left the room.

***

Mia spent most of the day having tests. Aiden, Kaeli and I either spent our time in the waiting room, or outside on the hospital grounds. I wasn’t sure why, but Mom had spent the majority of the day sitting and talking with Lillian and Mr. Thomas.

When Aiden and I finally made it back up to the waiting room, Mr. Thomas excused himself and I found out what they’d been discussing.

Lillian turned her attention to the both of us. “We need to talk.”

My heart started beating a painful, random pattern as anxiety crept in.

“You need to get back to the recording studio-”

“No way. I’m not-” Aiden started.

“Don’t,” Lillian interrupted him with a hard look. “Just listen. You’re both adults now, and although most of us don’t have to make these kinds of difficult decisions until later in life, you do. You both signed legally binding contracts to record this album, and while you might be willing to deal with those consequences as an individual, you don’t have the right to make that decision for the whole band.”

She paused, watching us, gauging our reactions. Aiden’s body language was still defensive, as I?

?m sure, was mine.

“Now, that being said,” she continued. “I know you’re both consumed with what’s happening with Mia, and you’re probably thinking there’s no way you could focus enough to play properly, but you’re wrong. Jace, you proved that by playing that song this morning. It was beautiful by the way. It would embarrass Mia of course, but she’d love it.”

Aiden sighed. “Mom, that’s different, and you know it. How can we possibly perform at our best when our thoughts are with Mia? We’d sound like crap. Besides, I want to be here for her. What if something happened while we were off playing fucking music? I’d never forgive myself.”

She frowned, almost scowling at us. “For starters, nothing’s going to happen while she’s being kept under. And as far as sounding like crap…that’s crap. You can use your emotions - use the situation to your advantage. Take all those emotions you both have bottled up inside you and let it out through your music. I know you’ve done it before. Do you think Mia would be happy you’re both sitting here wasting this opportunity? You know she wouldn’t.”

She sighed. “Look…Dr. Sanders said they’re still going to keep her under for at least another day, so you’ve got time to get in and do it. Do it for Mia. Make something that she can listen to when she wakes up, knowing it was her that drove you to play so hard.”

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