Page 18 of Hush (Fighting Fate)

Kaeli

I don’t know how long Mitch sat there with his head hung low. I just stood there and watched him from my place against the wall. When he did finally look up, he didn’t seem surprised I was standing where I was.

The bright violet of his eyes drew me in yet again. They were kind of mesmerizing. I knew they had to have been contacts. No one had eyes that color. And I remembered they’d been a yellowy color the last time I’d been here.

He steepled his hands in front of his face and pressed his fingers against his lips as he observed me. I was so confused. I didn’t know what he was doing. For whatever reason, he looked torn today. It went against everything I thought about him.

He sat there for another ten minutes, just watching me, his brow creased with contemplation. I fidgeted in my position against the wall, not sure where to look while he watched me. I felt so self-conscious.

“How long has your mom been with Ken?”

I jumped at the sound of his voice. He’d been silent for so long, I hadn’t been expecting it. His question surprised me too. I don’t know why. I thought it was because he’d been so intense for the past half an hour, so conflicted and sad. To see him switch so suddenly to casual conversation threw me.

I swallowed. “Since I was nine.”

“Has he always been abusive?”

“They were married for about six months before Mom even saw a glimpse of his ugly side.” I frowned. Why was I telling him this so freely?

Mitch’s jaw tightened. “Does he hurt you too?”

“No.”

He nodded, looking suddenly relieved, and that confused me even more.

“How long have you known about his side business?”

I understood immediately that he was talking about the drug dealing. “I still don’t really know anything. I’m assuming it’s drugs, but no one’s told me for sure.”

He sat back in the chair and sighed, turning to gaze out the window. I shifted weight slightly, trying to take the pressure off my aching feet. My head felt so tired all of a sudden. I just wanted to lie down and curl up. I let my head fall back against the wall and closed my eyes for a little while.

I thought I had my life all mapped out. Yeah okay, Ken’s temper made it hard to make plans most of the time, but I’d always thought I’d be free once I graduated - that I could just go off to college and finally live my life the way I’d always wanted to.

Now I realized just how stupid that thought had been. In what world would I stop worrying about my mom just because I’d suddenly graduated? I was always going to be stuck with this mess for as long as Ken was in our lives.

And now I’d been brought into his mess even further. Where the hell did that leave me? I had no idea what would become of me now. How much was this new violation in my life going to affect me? How far did my involvement with them go?

I sighed heavily and opened my eyes to find Mitch watching me again. This time I was sure I could see sadness in his eyes. I wondered what he was thinking.

He checked his watch and sighed, then his jaw clenched hard, like he was upset about something. Slowly, he pushed himself off the chair and stood, then made his way towards me.

My heart went into a spin. A wild erratic thumping that made the breath stick in my throat.

I’d seen him do that before – check the time before coming to me. After that, he’d forced me to kiss him. I tensed, my eyes growing wide, but I wasn’t one hundred percent sure if it was with fear this time.

Mitch moved slowly, his jaw still tensed with aggression, but it was his eyes that threw me. They were a complete contradiction to the tough, aggressive criminal he was supposed to be. They were filled with despair and guilt. They made me freeze in my place, my breath caught somewhere inside my chest.

He didn’t stop until our toes were touching. My hands went out automatically, pressing against his chest, ready to push him away. He leaned closer, bracing himself against the wall, one hand on either side of my head, until his body was pressed against mine. I gasped from the pressure, pushing firmly with my hands. God, he was so solid.

He pushed his chest harder against me, then forced one of his legs in between both of mine, lowering his face towards me. I could feel something hard press against my stomach. Oh god, was that his…? My heart burst into a sprint. Shit. Was I excited? Did I actually want him to kiss me?

What the hell was wrong with me?

I pushed harder, forcing myself to turn my face away. In a split second, he had both my wrists in one hand, pinning them on the wall above my head, and with his other hand, he grabbed my face, holding it still while he pressed his lips to mine.

I struggled against him, a pathetic whimpering noise sounding in the back of my throat. I tried shaking my head out of his grip, but his hold was unbreakable. Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt in the slightest. His hands were actually gentle.

He didn’t use his tongue, and he didn’t try to pry my lips apart to get inside me. He just moved his mouth over mine. Everything about it confused me. His kiss was hard, but his lips was so deliciously soft. My mind was all over the god damned place.

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