Page 24 of Fade (Fighting Fate)

r /> “Is that . . . is that something you like to do?” I breathed, my brain already growing fuzzy.

“With you? Definitely.”

I melted. I finally felt like I was where I was supposed to be. Every part of me had been awoken by this deeply intense, beautiful boy. I was home.

Chapter 10

Daniel

I was wrecked. After two weeks with Amy, I didn’t know if I would actually be able to breathe without knowing she was in my life in one way or another. It was a pretty fucking big realization. It worried me. A lot.

In less than eight weeks from now, I was gone. Deployed to Australia for at least six months. I just didn’t see how being with Amy could possibly work. I could never ask her to wait around for me like that.

Rubbing my hands over my face, I tried to push it from my mind. I really didn’t want to think about it right now. I just wanted to enjoy the time with her while I could. It was selfish of me, but it just wasn’t something I could make myself give up.

Pushing away from the kitchen counter, I quickly rinsed my glass and put it on the side to dry. I needed to go get ready if I wanted to be on time to pick Amy up. We were going on our first public date tonight. A party of some sort with her friends. I knew she was trying hard not to worry about what people thought of our situation, but it still played on her mind. She was nervous, I was sure.

I hung up the dish towel and turned to leave, only to stop short when Ryan walked into the kitchen. He paused in the doorway when he saw me, his gaze flickering with something I didn’t quite catch.

Since our last encounter at the top of the stairs, we’d settled into a silent agreement, which was to avoid each other as much as possible. Taking stock of that, I started past him.

Ryan stepped in my way. “Daniel, wait,” he said quickly.

I paused, making sure I kept my distance in case he said something to piss me off.

“Look,” he said, rubbing his forehead. “This is ridiculous. We should at least be able to be in the same room as each other.”

I gave him a hard look. “Yeah, we should, but you make that virtually impossible.”

I knew before I’d even finished the sentence that I wouldn’t be able to stop. His attitude and behavior had pissed me off since the moment I’d arrived. I’d been holding my tongue for Mom’s sake, but I couldn’t stop it now.

“Who are you, man? I mean, I don’t know this person,” I said, gesturing to his form in front of me. “The way you treated Amy? What the hell was that about? First you dump her because she wouldn’t sleep with you, and then you treat her like something that was stuck to the bottom of your shoe. It was fucking cruel.”

Ryan surprised me by exhaling heavily, his shoulders slumping. “I know. I honestly have no idea why I did that. I just . . . ” He sighed and rubbed his forehead again. “I had Dad calling and pressuring me for months about that damned internship, I was trying to keep my fucking grades up, I was trying to work out what the hell I wanted to do and where I wanted to go, and . . . I was just stressed, and Amy . . . ” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Amy just took my bullshit. It didn’t matter what I said or did, she was always there.”

I suddenly understood completely how he’d gotten himself to where he was, but it didn’t take away the disgust I felt. “So, you more or less just took all your frustrations out on her because she’d just take it like a good little girl?”

“I know. I was a fucking asshole,” he said.

“Yeah, you fucking were.”

Ryan shifted his feet uncomfortably. “I couldn’t see it at the time. I do now, and I want her to know I’m sorry. So fucking sorry.”

I was glad. Amy deserved a fucking apology after everything she’d been through. I was just about to say as much too, but Ryan’s next words stopped me cold.

“I want her back, man.”

I couldn’t stop the shock from flashing across my face if I tried. “What?”

“I want her back.” He hardened his stare. “She’s perfect. I know it shouldn’t have taken this for me to see it, but people make mistakes, man. I made a mistake. I want the chance to make it up to her. Please?”

I was having real trouble processing what I was hearing. Slowly, it sank in. He wanted me to step aside and give him permission to win her back. I shook my head, mostly to clear the red haze that had started appearing over my vision, but also to give him my answer.

“No fucking way. You had your chance and you fucked up. Live with it.”

“Come on, man. Think about it. What are you offering her? You’re leaving in what? A month? And you’ll be gone for almost a year. And then what? She follows you around the country while you’re shipped from post to post? Is that the kind of life you want for her?”

My confidence slipped. He’d just voiced every single one of my concerns. But then I thought of Amy and the way her parents had made every single one of her decisions for her, never once asking her if that’s what she wanted. I didn’t want to be like them. I didn’t want to take another decision that involved her life out of her hands. I may not have been the best thing for her, but damn it, she’d be the one making the fucking choice.

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