Page 28 of Fade (Fighting Fate)

“You know it’s okay if you decide to go back, don’t you? I meant what I said, it’s your choice to make. No one else’s, and I’ll respect that. I know I don’t have much to offer you in the way of security. Your mom was right about that. I mean, I don’t even know how often I’ll get to see you once I leave. I’ll be in Australia for at least six months, and then back at San Diego. It could be months in between.”

I stared at him like he had two heads. How on earth did he think I could ever go back to Ryan after being with him? And didn’t he realize I’d already thought about everything he’d just said? That I was happy to wait?

I wasn’t sure what he saw on my face, but he suddenly sat up and moved to the edge of the bed, reaching out to take my hand. I automatically pulled away, needing to say what was on my mind before his touch made my mind melt.

A look of hurt flashed through his eyes at my rejection. I sighed.

“Look. I’m just going to say this because . . . because I’m brave, goddamn it!” Drawing in a deep breath, I steeled myself. “It’s always been you, Daniel. I kind of knew it before, but after tonight, I know. Without a doubt. I know. My soul may have gotten a little confused with the similarities between you and Ryan, but the second I met you, I knew it was you I was supposed to be with.”

Stopping to get my head straight, I took another deep breath, feeling myself growing angry with the whole situation.

“Yes, my parents would prefer me to be with Ryan, but you know what? I lived with those people for nineteen years. Nineteen years, Daniel, and I still didn’t really know who I was as an individual. You’ve been in my life for three weeks. Three weeks! You’ve done more for me in three weeks than they’ve done in nineteen years. I actually know who I am now. You’ve taught me that it’s okay to be who I really am—that I’m not unlovable being my true self—and you’ve taught me to stand up and believe in my own choices. So this is what I’m doing. I choose you, and I’m not backing down. You can give me all the reasons why I shouldn’t be with you all you like, but it’s not going to make me change my mind. I want you.”

Daniel watched me for a long while. I was sure he was still trying to comprehend what I’d said. After a few drawn-out heartbeats, he gently shook his head. “How is this even possible?”

I cocked my head to the side. “What?”

“This. Us. How can we only know each other for this long and be so sure?”

I stepped right in front of him, standing between his knees. Taking his face in my hands, I tilted his head back so he would see the honesty in my eyes. “I will wait for you, Daniel. However long it takes. You do what you need to do, and I’ll still be here when you get back.”

I watched him draw in a shaky breath, his eyes shining as he looked deep into mine. “I could never ask you to do that,” he said, his voice almost a whisper.

I gave him a tiny smile to show him just how silly his words were. “You’ll never have to.”

Chapter 12

Daniel

I was lost for words. I felt like I should be trying to make her see reason or something, but just as she’d said she wanted me, I wanted her too. Too much.

With gentle hands, I took her hips and slowly pulled her closer, until she was pressed against my chest and I could wrap my arms around her. Resting my forehead on her breastbone, I just allowed myself to take it all in.

Back at Amber’s house, when I’d seen her leave the house with Ryan, I’d been nervous. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I knew what Ryan was doing, and I wanted to prepare myself for any outcome.

What I hadn’t expected, was for her not to come back inside. When Noah’s brother, Micah, had come back in and said they’d left, I was gutted. It didn’t help that all her friends were suddenly looking at me with pity, either.

I tried to wait for as long as I could, but after almost an hour, I knew I’d lost. I’d tucked my tail between my legs and slunk back home.

To say I was surprised when she’d knocked on my door was an understatement, but then I just thought she’d come to apologize and say goodbye. Hearing that speech of hers was the last thing I’d expected, but now she’d said it—now that it was out there—it set a resolve inside me. A vow to do everything I could to make this thing between us work.

Amy’s hand moved over the back of my neck and softly burrowed in my hair, holding me to her. I breathed her in, slow and deep. I didn’t know exactly when her scent had become like a drug to me, but it seriously was now. I was addicted to it. To her.

Slowly sliding my hands down over her hips, I caressed every curve. I fucking loved her body. It was perfect for me. We just fit.

Since that night I’d brought her back home for our movie picnic, and she’d let me touch her so intimately, we’d barely been able to keep our hands off each other. I’d made sure it never got too out of hand, though, because I knew it would kill me if I ever found out she regretted anything we did.

When my hands reached the bare skin on her legs, I started sliding them up again, this time under her dress. Her body trembled against me, and her fingers tightened in my hair. I moved my hands higher, skimming over her hips, past her panties and the curve of her waist, until they were encasing her ribcage.

Amy’s breath started coming faster. I could feel her ribs expanding under my hands. Her hands tightened even more, pulling me against her, but then she was shifting, her legs straddling mine on the bed until she was sitting on my lap.

She gazed into my eyes for a heartbeat, a fierce look of possession blazing in their depths, before she took my mouth with a slow, burning kiss.

I inhaled deeply, the combination of her touch and smell a heady, intoxicating mix.

Taking the passive seat, I let her control the pace, knowing she needed it.

Only a few short days ago, she’d been shy and hesitant. She’d been receptive, but I could tell she was nervous by her inability to initiate anything with me. Back then, I thought maybe she was uncertain about being with me, and maybe she was, but now I knew differently.

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