Page 74 of Fade (Fighting Fate)

I waited, my breath paused and my heart beating a little faster than normal.

She blinked, the action slow and deliberate. Softly, she cleared her throat. It was a low sound, like she was checking to see if her voice was still working. I wasn’t sure if it was.

Her mouth opened. “You’re pregnant.”

It wasn’t a question. She was merely repeating what I’d told her a moment ago. A long moment ago. Disbelief colored her tone.

I inhaled, unsure if my own voice was working. Deciding not to even try, I simply nodded.

“You’re pregnant,” she said again, but this time it came out sounding more accepting.

I couldn’t help the tiny smirk that spread to my lips. “I am.”

Slowly, she shook her head and her jaw became slack. “Holy shit. You’re going to be a mom.”

Her words made my breath shake. Of course, I’d said the exact same thing to myself, but hearing it coming from my best friend made it feel so much heavier. I instantly thought of my own mother and a slight panic started creeping in.

“What if I can’t do it, Amber?” I whispered, trying to swallow down my rising fear. “What if I don’t know how to show it love? What if I end up like my mother? It’s going to hate me.”

Amber grabbed my hand. “Hey.” Her eyes narrowed dangerously. “Stop it. You’re nothing like either of your parents. You’re kind, considerate, loving, compassionate, and selfless. To a freaking fault. You constantly put everyone before yourself, and you give without expectation. You’re going to make the best mom ever. And this kid is going to have the biggest and most protective family anyone has ever seen.”

My mind jumped to all my friends. They’d been so supportive of me getting married, but what would they think about me having a baby so soon?

“What’s everyone going to think?” My eyes widened. “Oh my God. They’re all going to think I only got married because I was pregnant.”

Amber frowned. “Wait, you didn’t know you were pregnant then, did you?”

“Of course not! I did the math. I think it happened somewhere around the time we got married.”

I balked at Amber’s sudden laugh.

“Really, Amy. You should’ve been born in Grandma Nell’s era. Growing up, that’s all I ever heard. If you weren’t married by nineteen and barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, you were doing something wrong.”

Dropping my face into my hands, I let out a pitiful moan. “Oh my God, I’m ruining it for every woman who’s ever fought for equality.”

“Pfft . . . That’s rubbish. What women have been, and are still, fighting for, is the right to choose. And if any so-called feminist wants to berate you for choosing to get married and have babies, I’ll gladly kick their ass for you.”

I watched her scoot forward on her seat with wary eyes.

“Amy, I’ve known you forever. Knowing your upbringing, I can honestly say it doesn’t surprise me that all you’d want in life is to create a happy, loving home. Because that’s what you’ve always craved. Stop caring about what other people think, because when everything’s all done and dusted and you’re standing at the Pearly Gates, it’s just you, babe. Just you. And if the big guy asks you if you’re happy with all the decisions you made in life, you want to be able to say, yes. Without a doubt.”

I gave her a doubtful look. Her features hardened.

“All right, then. Let me ask you this. Did you get pregnant on purpose?”

My mouth popped open in a silent O. “Of course not!”

“Okay, so what about this? If everyone you knew told you that you were making a huge mistake, would you terminate it?”

I felt the horror come over me. “Jesus, Amber. You know I could never do that.”

She huffed. “All right, so if you won’t consider a termination, what can you do to change things if people disagree with what you’re doing?”

My mouth opened and closed like a stunned fish. “Nothing . . . ”

Amber opened her hands to the sky and smiled. “Exactly. So why are you bothering to be worried about something you can’t change?”

My head was hurting. “I just don’t want people to think bad things about me,” I said quietly.

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