Page 81 of Fade (Fighting Fate)

It had happened as soon as I starte

d closing things up for the week at work. I was filing the last of the papers when I felt a sudden need to go to the bathroom. The amusement I felt at my questionable bladder control quickly turned to panic when I saw the blood. It wasn’t a lot, but it was blood. You weren’t supposed to bleed when you were pregnant. Right?

I’d called Dr. Anderson’s room as soon as I got back to my desk, thankful and panicked all at once when she told me to come straight in.

Lying there, I averted my eyes, staring at a picture that had been strangely stuck to the ceiling. I pondered its place there for a little while before realizing it was meant as a distraction. A greatly appreciated one.

With a concentration that was nowhere near justified, yet desperately needed just the same, I tried to lose myself in the bright and busy landscape above me while I willed the lingering tears to stay away.

The procedure wasn’t nice. In fact, it hurt. I concentrated on the little girl in the picture, taking in as much detail of her dress as possible. Then I moved on to her mother, a short, chubby woman with long dark hair.

The pressure down there vanished, and I heard Dr. Anderson snap her gloves off.

“You can get dressed now, Amy,” she said, tossing them in the trash. “I don’t think we have anything to worry about just now. Your cervix is still normal, so I don’t think you’re starting to miscarry.”

Relief flooded through me. I didn’t realize just how much the idea of losing the baby had stressed me out. Slipping on my panties, I pulled my dress back down and put my shoes on.

“Like I said before, it can be common for some women to have a little bleeding during pregnancy.” She tapped on her computer keyboard while I took a seat. “But if it continues or if you have any pain, call me straightaway. No exception.”

I smiled, the relief making me dizzy with happiness. “I will. Thank you.”

Tidying myself up, I slung my bag over my shoulder and left the doctor’s office, never happier it was a Friday. Amber had organized for Jess and Kaeli to come to her house for the big announcement. After the last two hours, I was looking forward to a bit of girl time more than ever, but if I didn’t hurry, I was going to be late.

The idea of everyone finally knowing made me part excited and part terrified. I knew it was stupid of me to think any of them would be anything less than happy for me. How accepting they were of me marrying Daniel told me as much, but I just couldn’t help the doubt that niggled at me. The importance of good, clean-cut appearances had been drummed into me so much growing up that I just couldn’t seem to shake it.

Both the girls’ cars were already parked in the drive when I got there. My nerves hummed, but I was glad to feel excitement taking a more pronounced stance inside me. Even though I could, and I did, talk to Amber about all things pregnancy, I wanted the freedom that came from not having to hide anything. Especially from my best friends.

Walking inside, I was greeted by a chorus of squeals that only girls could make, before being enveloped in a pair of arms. The pile of curly, red hair suddenly in my face told me it was Jess.

Laughing, I squeezed her back. “Hey, gorgeous.”

She gave me one more squeeze before letting me go. “Oh my God. It’s been way too long. How’s the married woman?”

My mind gave me a one-second chance to decide on an answer, before coming to the conclusion that now was as good a time as any. “Pregnant,” I said, grinning as I waited for the word to sink in.

Her eyes bulged. “Shut up!” she said, her mouth popping open dramatically. “You’re kidding me, right?”

I smirked at her before meeting Kaeli’s gaze over Jess’s shoulder. “Nope. I’m having a baby. I’m just over twelve weeks.”

“Oh, Amy . . . ” Kaeli said, moving to hug me. “That’s awesome, babe. Congratulations. You’re going to be a wonderful mom.”

My happiness grew to a greater height than I’d ever known. Laughing, I just let myself feel it for a change. When she released me, I turned to Jess again. She was still standing there, staring at me with her mouth wide open, but the corners were turned up now.

“Holy shit,” she said, shaking her head with slow, deliberate movements. “I can’t believe you’re actually pregnant. You’re going to have a freaking baby.”

“Yeah. Apparently, I’m not the planning type anymore,” I said with a shrug. “Who knew?”

“No shit,” Amber said, coming to stand beside me. “Even I can’t freaking keep up.” She smirked before pulling me into a soft hug. “You just need to stop comparing yourself to everyone else. Everyone on the planet has a different life journey, babe. Just because yours doesn’t look like everyone else’s, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”

Sighing, I gave her a helpless shrug. “You know me. I just don’t like being judged.”

The look she gave me was very pointed. “And you know I’ve said this before. People only judge what they don’t understand. This little peanut right here,” she said, placing her hand on my stomach. “Is here to teach you to be okay with that.”

Glancing down at her hand, I felt the warmth of love spread through me. “I’m okay with that,” I said. “I just need Peanut’s dad to come home to me in one piece, and I’ll be the happiest momma bear on the planet.”

Jess laughed. “You’ve done it now. You know this baby’s name will forever be Peanut now, don’t you?”

With a proud grin, Amber pet my stomach like I was a Buddha. “Ah, Peanut,” she said, speaking to my still-flat stomach. “I hope you’re prepared for what you’re to be born into.”

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