Page 66 of Dream (Fighting Fate)

My body sagged as I stared across the room. I wished I could talk to him. Just one last time. As my gaze drew over to his side of the bed, it landed on a pretty pink flower resting on the bedside table. Underneath it was a folded piece of paper.

Drawing in a long, deep breath, I reached over and picked up the flower, holding it as though it was the most precious thing in the world, because to me, it was.

Clutching it before me, I closed my eyes and inhaled, drawing in its scent. Then I picked up the paper and read.

My beautiful Liv,

This is the hardest letter I’ve had to write. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever written a letter like this before. I don’t even know where to start. I guess the beginning would be best.

The first day I saw you, I knew you were going to change my life. You were so unexpected. A beautiful golden light that shone so brilliantly, I was sure it could touch people even when they were lost to darkness. To me, you’re like the butterfly we saw the other day. So delicate, yet so beautiful. So quiet and unassuming, yet so full of life, joy and happiness. Everyone you meet is a little better off for knowing you. I know I am.

I guess I just wanted to let you know how much the time we spent together meant to me, and how much you still mean to me. This business can be tough. When you have success, everybody wants a little piece of you. They take and take, until one day, you don’t know who you are anymore, and you become who they say you should be. Not only did you help me find the real me again, you accepted me for me, and maybe even liked me for me ;) And for that, I’ll be forever grateful. You

deserve nothing but the best of everything, Liv. I hope you know that.

Yours (seriously)

Josh xxx

I tried to be strong. I tried to lift my head and breathe deep, willing myself to accept what I knew had been coming for so long, but even though I could fool my face to remain expressionless, I couldn’t fool my heart. And she cried.

As the first tear slipped down my cheek, I took a breath. And then another. Why did he have to be so wonderful? Why did he have to write such nice words? I wanted to call him. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to say thank you. But, most of all, I wanted to tell him to come back.

And that was why I couldn’t keep in touch.

Climbing from the bed, I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. The smell of Josh’s soap made my chest squeeze tight, but I wanted to do this. I wanted to walk away from here and still be able to feel him with me. Even if it was only his scent. And even if it was only for the day.

The next tear fell as I stepped under the flow of water. Then the next. And the next. I let the water wash over me, drenching my hair, falling down my face as it mixed with my tears and washed them away.

I could do this. I could move on. I just needed to let him go first. If I could only figure out how to do that, I’d be fine.

Rinsing my hair, I shut the water off and stepped from the shower. I went through the motions as though I was on autopilot, drying, dressing, and packing the few things I owned into my little calico bag. When I was done, I slung the bag onto my shoulder, picked up my little flower, and took a moment to appreciate the time I’d had. As much as it pained me now, I knew what we shared would always be something I’d look back on with love. He gave me my first taste of what dating could be like, and as far as firsts go, I knew I’d been pretty lucky.

Stepping toward the door, my hand closed around the handle. I was ready. My gaze drifted around the room, landing on the bed. The place he’d held me so carefully. I smiled and made to turn away, but then something caught my eye. One of Josh’s shirts—the one I’d worn the few times I’d slept here—was bunched under a pillow.

Dropping the handle, I moved over to the bed and gingerly picked it up, holding it in my hands as though it was the most precious thing in the world. His scent was all over it. I didn’t even try to convince myself that I could live without it. I simply placed it in my bag and turned and walked away. Down the stairs, through the living room, out the door, and down the trail to the beach. I didn’t look back as I moved. I was still here for another week, so I knew I’d be seeing his house many times over, taunting me with memories of things I’d never have again. I just walked down to the other end of the beach and straight up to Aunt Jenny’s house, and when I stepped inside, she was there waiting for me, just like she had said she would be, with her arms wide open.

Chapter 40

Josh

Driving the Escalade up the driveway to Mom and Dad’s house, I drew in a long, deep breath and exhaled, letting my shoulders relax. I had three days before I was due to fly out to Florida. Three days of downtime with my family. It was long overdue.

I knew that even though the guys hadn’t said anything about it, they were just as excited to be seeing their own families. We all needed this time, regardless of the sacrifices we had to make to see it happen.

Making sure I’d closed the gate properly with my remote, I climbed from the car and grabbed my bag off the backseat. I only made it as far as the front porch before Lenny, our Labrador, pounced.

“Hey, buddy. How you doing? You miss me?” I said, dropping my bag and roughing him around the neck.

“Nowhere near as much as me,” a voice said, coming out through the front door.

I looked up to see Mom, smiling broadly. “Hey, Ma. Happy birthday. Did you get my present?”

She gave me a chastising look before wrapping her arms around me. “Yes, I did. And you shouldn’t have.”

I laughed, squeezing her back. I’d bought her a pair of diamond drop earrings while I’d been in Paris earlier this year. I’d organized to have it delivered first thing this morning. “Of course I should have,” I said dryly. “You’d kick my ass if I didn’t get you anything.”

Pulling back, she clutched my biceps and studied my face. “Yes, I would, but you didn’t have to get me something so expensive.”

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