Page 35 of Dare (Fighting Fate)

Stepping out from the row of desks, I started up the stairs, trying to keep my eyes cast down, but my pride just wouldn’t let me. Looking across at the row above mine, I met the gaze of one of the girls I’d heard whispering. Alison Pike. She smirked at me as though her shit didn’t stink, her eyes narrowing with condemnation. I should’ve looked away, but I was too pissed off to let it go, so I paused my steps, my head cocking to the side as I narrowed my own gaze back at her.

Her friend, Regan Franks, nudged her with her elbow and giggled, making me just want to walk up and punch them.

Drawing in a deep breath, I raised my chin and forced a calm to come over me. “Oh, okay. I get it,” I said, giving them both a faux smile. “You’re the kind of girls who like to judge and condemn other women so you can feel better about yourselves.” A slight sense of satisfaction flowed through me as I watched their smirks fall from their faces. “I’d tell you that the rumors aren’t true, but you don’t really care, do you? As long as you feel as though you’re better than me. Well, I hope it doesn’t hurt too much when you fall off those high horses of yours. I hear karma can be a real bitch.”

With that, I hoisted my backpack higher on my shoulder, smiled as though I meant it, and walked from the lecture room with my pride very much intact. I didn’t even need to resort to physical violence. Amber would be disappointed.

Stepping out into the sunshine, I turned toward the parking lot and started preparing myself for the afternoon ahead. I had almost six weeks to get this assignment done, but I wanted to get a good start on it this week if I could.

“Jess!”

My steps faltered as Eli’s voice drifted into my awareness. I turned, trying to prepare myself for my body’s reaction to his presence, but as soon as I saw him I knew I’d failed massively. “Hey, what brings you back to good ole Sac State?” I asked. I was aiming for light and happy, but I thought I actually achieved awkward and scary.

“I actually came to see if you were all right. I heard about the rumors.”

I almost cringed at the thought of him listening to the shit people were saying, but I knew he knew the truth. Drawing in a deep breath, I watched Alison and Regan exit the building, their gazes flashing to me and widening when they saw Eli standing there. The visual of it practically made me roll my eyes. Eli had that effect on most women.

Shrugging, I watched them scurry along the path. “Other than having to put up with bitches who think it’s awesome to put other women down, I’m doing great,” I said, my voice loud enough for them to hear

Eli’s gaze followed mine to where Alison and Regan were now walking past us, his eyes narrowing dangerously. “Yeah, some people lack the intelligence to think outside a pack. It’s just sad, really. If only they knew how ugly it made them, they might consider using their brain and trying out thinking for themselves for a change.”

As Alison’s cheeks stained pink, I smirked. I wasn’t usually one to promote an eye for an eye, but I’d seriously reached the outer limit of my patience this week.

“But seriously,” Eli said, his voice soft and laced with concern, “are you okay?”

There were so many ways I could’ve answered his question, but I stuck to the one I knew he was looking for the most. “I’m fine. The shallow-mindedness is a little hard to swallow every now and again, but for the most part, I’m fine.”

He watched me carefully, his gaze searching the depths of my eyes. I wasn’t sure what it was he was looking for, but after a while, he inhaled and nodded. “Okay. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

Under normal circumstances, I would’ve made a joke about there not being anything he could do, but I knew his offer was sincere, so I left it alone. I couldn’t, however, leave the mess that was us alone. “Eli,” I said, gripping the strap of my backpack, “I know most girls would let go of what happened between us the other night”—I watched him retreat a little with my words, but I pressed on regardless—“but you and I both know I’m not like other girls. I need you to explain to me what that was about.”

His jaw tightened a little. “It was a mistake, Jess. It shouldn’t have happened.”

His words hurt, but I wasn’t going to let him off that easy. “But it did.”

“I know,” he said, his voice hardening. “But it won’t happen again.”

Instinct was telling my body to retreat, to back down and just let it go, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t fair of him to demand me to do that. I wanted to know what was going on. One minute he’s rejecting me, and the next he’s kissing me like there was no tomorrow and growling that I had no idea what I did to him. Now he was flat refusing to acknowledge it. “Why, Eli?” I asked, point-blank. “Why won’t it happen? Do you not want it to, or is there some other reason?”

His gazed flickered back and forth between mine. “I won’t try to fool either one of us by saying I don’t want it to,” he said, instantly sending a pulse of need through my veins. “But there are reasons why it can’t, Jess. I’ve made a commitment to finish this degree and sit the bar exam this summer. I can’t afford to have any distractions.”

Hurt spread through my body uninvited.

Eli’s hand flinched as though he wanted to reach out to me, but his resolve wouldn’t let him. “Don’t take it as an insult, Jess. It’s really not. As far as distractions go, you’re the very best kind there is.”

I heard his words—I even understood them—but they didn’t change the way I was feeling inside.

Shoving his hands inside his pockets, he scuffed his feet. “I have to go. But Jess?” he said, lowering his head so he could look directly into my eyes. “I meant what I said. Let me know if I can help. With anything.”

Offering him a smile, I squeezed my hands around the strap of my backpack and nodded. “Okay.”

Confusion swirled around me as I watched him walk away. He wanted me. But not enough to risk distraction. I had no idea how something could be so exciting yet devastating at the same time. And I wasn’t actually sure what I was supposed to do with that.

Drawing in a deep breath, I started toward my car. The first step was to get home. Then I could at least start licking my wounds. Ice c

ream would help with that.

Chapter 24

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