Page 40 of Dare (Fighting Fate)

My breath shook, the feel of his warmth so near to me it sent all kinds of signals to places that were probably dangerous right now. “He’s a friend of Austin’s,” I breathed. “He was in town for the weekend and wanted to say hi.”

Then he kissed me.

Excitement coursed through my body as his arms pulled me into him. Feeling him so out of control did something wild to me. The idea that he wanted me so much he couldn’t stop himself was so incredibly arousing, I wouldn’t have cared if he took me right where we stood.

But his jealousy . . . Oh. My. God.

I knew I should’ve told him who Trent was when I introduced them, but I’d hoped seeing me with someone else might’ve been the push he needed to let go of whatever it was that was holding him back.

Gripping his shirt in my fists, I pulled him against me, letting him know I was all for this abandonment. My lips teased and my tongue encouraged. And when his hands moved over my body, one tangling in my hair, gripping me to him, victory sang in my veins. A moan rumbled in my throat, my own abandon taking me deeper again. Eli’s hands tightened, his mouth crushing against mine, his tongue stroking and tasting. I was lost to it. Consumed. I never wanted it to end.

But what I wanted didn’t matter, because between one gulp of air and the next, Eli was tearing his mouth from mine and walking away from me. I stumbled a little before catching myself with the edge of the table, my breath harsh and my head spinning. Eli stopped a few yards away, thrusting his hands through his hair as he faced away from me.

Tilting his head back, he dropped his arms by his sides. “Fuck!” he yelled, his voice carried away by the wind. Then he turned and pinned me with a wild look. “Why the fuck can’t I control myself when I’m around you?” he demanded, although I thought he knew I couldn’t answer him. “Why can’t I just leave you alone?”

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. Besides, I didn’t want him to.

He shook his head, desperation flashing in his eyes. “We can’t do this, Jess. It can’t happen.”

A pang of hurt flared inside me. I didn’t understand why he was resisting it so much. Was the thought of us being together so bad to him? “Why can’t it happen, Eli? Tell me.”

He threw his hands up in front of him. “It just can’t, Jess. There are too many things in the way.”

This wasn’t fair. He wasn’t being fair. “Do you want it to happen, though?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want, Jess. It just can’t happen,” he said, lifting his shoulders as though that ended the conversation.

Irritation crept into my chest. “So you keep saying, but I’m asking if you want it.”

Tension creased his brow. “Of course I want it. I think that’s pretty fucking obvious, Jess. But it doesn’t matter. I’m trying to be responsible here. I’ve got commitments I need to stick to, and I can’t afford to be distracted.”

Okay, now I was just pissed off. I didn’t care what excuses he was using. This was the second time he’d started something before dropping the boom gates on me. Whether he knew it or not, he was playing with my feelings, and it was up to me to put a stop to it.

Striding forward, I clenched my jaw tight, watching a hint of wariness creep over his features as I neared. “You know what, Eli? That’s fine. You can use any excuse you want. It’s your choice. But unless you decide you want to take a chance with me, that was the last time you get to touch me. Because if you do this again, I have a bunch of guys who’d be willing to make you regret it—your brothers included. And you know it.”

“Jess,” he said, regret streaming from his gaze.

“No, Eli. Enough is enough. It’s not fair of you to do what you’re doing. I could stand here and lie and say I don’t want you, but we both know that’s not true. If you really don’t want to be with me, stop teasing me and just leave me the hell alone,” I said, jabbing him in the chest with my finger. “Oh, yeah, and if you see me with another guy like you did today—regardless of what he is to me—you suck it the fuck up and turn around and walk away. You don’t get to march on in and demand to know what’s going on. And just remember, it was your choice.”

Without waiting for him to respond, I turned and stormed across the park. I had no idea where I was going. All I knew was that I needed to put as much distance between Eli and me as possible. But the more I walked, and the more I thought about what had just happened with Eli, the more I began to see just how much I’d been a bystander in my own life. As much as I could blame Wyatt and Zac and Eli for all the things that had happened to me these past few months, I hadn’t exactly done much to take control of the outcomes. I’d allowed myself to be a victim.

Slowing to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk, people flowing around me, I realized what it was I needed to do. Pulling the cell phone out of my pocket, I scrolled through my contacts and pushed on the one I needed.

Pressing it to my ear, I took a deep, reassuring breath, and as the call connected, I steeled myself. “Noah,” I said, “I’m ready.”

Chapter 28

Eli

As the flames flickered in the slow-burning fire, I sat forward in my seat, elbows on my knees, and hung my head. Rolling the beer between my hands, I allowed the remorse to flow through me. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself I’d done the right thing with Jess, I just couldn’t deny the fact that I’d been a douche. The fact that I’d allowed myself to take whatev

er I wanted without any regard for what would happen afterward, made me more disappointed in myself than I’d ever been.

Shaking my head, I took another swig of the beer. All I knew was that I’d fucked up. Colossally. I’d dug myself into a hole so fucking deep, I was sure I had no way out again. I couldn’t even pretend I’d be capable of hooking up with another girl after today. No one would ever compare to what I’d tasted with Jess. Ever. I didn’t care how much time could pass. I was scarred.

The way she responded to my touch would forever be my torture. And I fucking deserved it. To know how receptive she was—how free she could let herself be—and that I’d ruined any chance of ever seeing her like that when she came undone in my arms, was something that would eat away at me for the rest of my life.

Sighing, I slumped back in my seat. Fuck, I’d be lucky if she ever spoke to me again after today. The way she fired up, her green eyes burning with such intensity, was a sight to be seen. I didn’t revel in the fact that I’d made her angry, but I sure did admire the way she stood up for herself. She was beautiful and strong and she fought for what was right. She was perfection.

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